Right now, I’m at the top of the incline,
about to start the screaming, stressful, somehow nice ride called “The Holidays.”

As soon as I blink, Thanksgiving will be here.
Cooking or restaurant? Is this even a dilemma?

Restaurant wins: good food, no dishes, no failed experiments.
But I’ll miss my zero-sugar desserts (the ones I actually nailed).

Then the coaster climbs again.
Christmas.
Gifts. Outfits. Santa.
And—ugh—the mall.
I worked in one for nine years, and those Christmas songs?
They feel like psychological warfare now.

The only version I can handle?
A TikTok where someone sang a carol in an Indian accent.
I laughed so hard I almost forgave Mariah Carey.

But let’s be honest:
The music does something to people.
They hum “happy holidays” while paying full price for a shirt that was half-off all year.

So yeah—
I’m holding my cocoa tight,
screaming with grace,
and riding this old wooden roller coaster till the lights go out.