I bombed a best man speech.

With the other best man, we managed to butcher the big moment. Months and months of planning, writing, refining and practicing...all for utter failure.

We received some laughs, some "ahh's" but overall, the biggest disappointment of my life.

It is by far the most humiliating experience of my life. I still wake up in a cold sweat about it.

All of it made worse by the fact that we worked so hard, put in so much effort. And we failed.

But my previous speeches had been resounding successes (as verified by independent sources, honestly), so what happened this time?

We had lost sight of the real purpose of a best man speech. To speak from the heart about our best friend(s).

Be authentic and keep it brief

This speech really isn't about you. It's about the couple in front of you, and saying whatever you'd like to say to them.

Here are the lessons I so brutally learned.

#1. Limit your practice. Seriously.

I'd never been accused of this before, but we practiced and rehearsed waaaay too much. We cared too much.

By practicing too much, our speech became wooden. It lacked authenticity. It felt unnatural.

When we say important, emotional things to people we love or share funny stories, we don't practice them. And they feel so much more authentic for that reason.

#2. Follow themes, not a script.

To help your speech feel natural, it's important to stick to general themes, not a script.

Reading off of a script is not cool, and should only be done if you're a really nervous public speaker. Even if you memorise it like we did, your brain tries to follow the exact words you wrote on the script.

Plus, if you miss a word, you get thrown off. But in a normal conversation, if you use a wrong word, it feels completely natural!

The only caveats are:

• Pick a good opening line or two, to help you settle into the speech

• Pick a suitable toast for an ending

#3. No more than 5 minutes

Typically you're last to speak. And if you're anything like us, the audience have sat through 3+ long and terrible speeches already.

People don't want a long speech.

Just like an atomic essay, less is more.

It's easier to keep people's attention. The audience want to laugh, toast and then get on with celebrating!

Let me reiterate. This is not your moment in the limelight and people want a brief, punchy speech!

So in summary...

Keep it real. Be authentic. Be brief.