In my experience, the bigger the client, the harder they are to manage. There are too many fingers in the pie and internal politics that you may not be aware of.

When you get negative feedback on creative work, it's tempting to jump in and defend yourself. Or you may stew on it and feel self-conscious. Both are counterproductive. I've struggled with this, so I'm trying to flip my thinking and see feedback as a gift to help me improve.

Five things you can do

Organisational psychologist Tanya Eurich shares some tips in her book Insight (via HBR.org) to help you take criticism calmly and mine it for insight.

#1 Don't rush to react - Give yourself time to bounce back before deciding what to do. Reframe the way you see it as helpful and productive data, and say out loud how you feel. I had a chat with my sister before I replied, which helped put it into perspective.

#2 Get more data - We can't act on feedback until we understand it. A gentle probe to suss out the client's behaviour gave me some reassurance. And if I need more info to do the work, I'll ask for it.

#3 Find a harbinger - Choose one action to show you mean business. I had a client who used to micromanage, so I sent her an email every morning to tell her what I was working on. It helped her feel in control, and she thanked me.

#4 Don't be a lonely martyr and isolate yourself or avoid the person who gave you feedback. Better to pull them closer - thank them for their feedback and be responsive.

#5 Change is just one option - Be honest about your flaws to yourself then others, and set expectations for how you're likely to behave. Ask for their help and patience as you work on it.

When we let go of things we cannot change, it frees up the energy to focus on changing the things we can.

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