If you could only pick one, as a Leader, is it better to be Critical or Compassionate with your Team?

Which do you Believe will create the better Results?

Well, before we dive into that, I think it is Important to Consider which is better to be with Ourselves.

Being Self-Compassionate or Self-Critical?

One thing I've learned over time is that what we see on a Micro-Scale works Similarly on a Macro-Scale.

What this means in terms of this question is that whichever creates better Results for ourselves, will also create better Results for our Teams.

According to Research, compared to Self-Criticizers, those who are Self-Compassionate:

Perform Better and Rarely "Choke" Under Pressure
Feel More Competent
Are More Resilient
Are Able To Bounce Back Faster From Setbacks
Are Less Depressed And/Or Anxious
Get Along With Others More Effectively
Are Better Able To Take Risks
Are More Open To New Experiences, Allowing More Growth Opportunities
Learn, Grow, And Develop More Effectively
Are Psychologically Healthier Overall

So, according to the Research, it is Clear that being Self-Compassionate is a Clear Winner to Getting Better Results.

Then, we can Apply this in the Macro as well - Being a Compassionate Leader is a Clear Winner to Getting Results.

Now, one thing to add here really quickly is that there is a difference between Compassion and Enabling Problems.

As a Leader, you can Not be an Enabler of Problems.

However, what makes Compassion different is You have a Genuine Desire to Alleviate Stressors and Problems.

So, when Compassion is done Correctly, it Guides Teams to the Solutions they Need in a Caring Manner.

Now, with that out of the way, let's go more into "Why" from a Psychophysiological Perspective, Compassionate Leaders will be more Successful than Critical Leaders.

The First Aspect has to do with Survival Instincts.

When we are Critical, what are we Doing?

We are "Attacking" People's Skills, Work, and/or Abilities.

Now, this is further tied into Survival because all Jobs consist of those Skills, Work, and/or Abilities.

When people Hear and/or Believe that their Job may be at Risk due to Skills, Work, and/or Abilities, they directly tie this to their Livelihood.

For most people, their Income "Is" Directly Tied to Livelihood, and that means it Directly Impacts their Ability to Survive.

So, when we are Critical, we are making a Direct Threat to a Person's Survival, whether we recognize it or not.

What happens when people Perceive Threats to their Survival?

Well, Nothing Positive for Leaders.

On the "Nicer" end it Creates Quiet Quitting, and Teams that Only do the Minimum Required with Half-Hearted Submission.

None of these can Produce Innovation, High Levels of Productivity, or Creative Problem Solving which is what Leaders Need from their Teams to Succeed at High Levels.

Then, on the "Harsh" end, Perceived Threats are met with Insubordination, Active Disengagement, Walk Outs, and Worse.

Just asked Dell, who after Threatening No Job Promotions to those who Refused to Comply with In-Office "Mandates" was met with 50% of their US Employees becoming Completely Insubordinate to Demands.

This happens with Self-Criticism as well.

When we are Self-Critical, we tend to just "Quit" whatever we are being Critical About.

Ask Everyone who has been Harsh on themselves for their Diet and Exercise, and who Quit all their New Year's Resolution Plans.

But, when we are Compassionate, we are actually trying to Help People Survive Better.

Instead of a Threat, you become Perceived as an Ally.

Most people Feel that they have Few to No Allies in the World, so they tend to be Desperate to Maintain the Few Allies they Gain.

This is also True in Leadership.

If you Prove, through Action, that you are people's Ally, they will be Loyal to You to Crazy Ends.

With this, there are still other Psychophysiological Advantages to being a Compassionate Leader.

Another Large Aspect of this has to do with our Mental Filters.

Whatever we Look for in Life, we will Find More of.

So, if we are Critical, what are we Looking For?

Problems.

What do we Find More of?

Problems.

When we Demonstrate this thinking with our Teams, what do they Find More of?

Problems.

Do you see the Problem?

Criticism is Focused on Problems, and that is what it Finds and Creates.

More Problems for the Team.

More Problems for the Organization.

More Problems for You as the Leader.

When all you look for is Problems, your Life will be Problematic.

However, what do we Look for with Compassion?

It's actually a Trick Question because there are Two Things!

First, we are looking for Solutions when we are Compassionate.

When we Focus on Solutions, we begin to Find more Solutions, and our Teams Look For and Find more Solutions.

The Second Aspect of this though is that being Compassionate forces us to Look for Connection.

Connect to what?

Common Humanity.

Why is it that we can Find Compassion when people Make Mistakes?

It is because "All" Humans make Mistakes, Including Us as Leaders.

This allows Compassion to become a Bridge to Unite Teams together based on their Common Humanity.

Once United, the Focus on Solutions allows the Team to Look for and Find Solutions more easily!

The Filter of Compassion becomes an Extremely Powerful Lens through which to See the World.

The Last Psychophysiological component to dive into today is the Problem of Mental Stressors.

There is something that I like to say frequently - All Stress Adds.

So, if we Experience a Stressor, such as a Mistake, and then we Add the Stress that comes with Criticism (and the Survival Triggers mentioned above), all of those Stressors Add.

If we have Too Many Simultaneous Stressors, we enter into Dis-Stress, and if those remain then we hit Burnout.

However, Criticism has another Challenge here in that it is a Mental Stressor.

The interesting thing about Mental Stressors is that they Compound Over Time.

The Longer we Keep a Mental Stressor, it becomes Exponentially Worse.

So when we look at Criticism, what is Happening?

We are Focused on Problems, Not Solutions.

Since we are not "Solving" anything, the Problem(s) Remains.

For as long as it Remains, it is a Mental Stressor that Compounds over Time.

For as Long as it Remains, you create a Perpetual Survival Loop which Decimates Energy (Mg-ATP, what the Body uses for Fuel) over time.

When Energy (Mg-ATP) remains Low, it Increases the Speed of Burnout Onset.

When 80% of People are already In Burnout, with More on the Way, it is Easy to see why Most Leaders Fail.

However, what happens with Compassion?

Instead of Igniting a Survival Instinct like Criticism does, Compassion creates Unity and Solution Focus.

These end up being Mental De-Stressors, lowering our overall Stressors.

Instead of Destroying Energy (Mg-ATP), it is Guided to more Beneficial Ends for the Team.

All of these Psychophysiological Results help to Illuminate why Compassionate Leaders will "Always" Outperform Critical Leaders.

However, there is, perhaps, one Important thing to Remember here.

The Micro Reflects the Macro.

As a Leader, You must be Self-Compassionate.

If You are Not, then You can Not "Give" Compassion.

If our Minds are Consumed with Criticism, then we will only see ways to Give Criticism to Others.

As we can see, it is a Recipe for Disaster.

However, it also Provides us with the Solution as Leaders.

When we are Self-Compassionate, we can see How to be Compassionate with our Teams.

When our Teams are Compassionate, we can build Compassionate Organizations.

When our Organizations are Compassionate, we can Build Compassionate Relationships with our Suppliers and our Customers.

When we Accomplish this, we can Design a Compassionate World around us.

However, all of this begins with Us as Leaders.

We must Learn to be Self-Compassionate so that we can Unlock the Psychophysiological Advantages that come along with that.

Should Leaders Be Critical Or Compassionate With Their Teams?

What The Psychophysiology Reveals

What will you write today?