"What part of you is immutable?"

I was scrolling through twitter and I saw a video of someone talking about how that is a question that they ask friends or even romantic partners to get a gauge on one's self-awareness and understanding of the core foundation of who they are as a person.

I'm a sucker for good thought provoking questions so I asked a couple people which sparked a lot of discussion and led me to reflect on my own.

While I'm still trying to understand all of the immutable parts of myself, here are two that came to mind:

Immutable Part #1: I'm always going to want, make, or have a plan.

I'm am a very type-a person. Planning helps me sort through my thoughts and give me some sense of control and relaxation. While I don't need everything to be planned to a t, I need to have something to really go off of.

Immutable Part #2: I am always going to find something to keep myself busy.

If I am choosing to do absolutely nothing, it's a very active choice. I hate the feeling of not maximizing my time and in my mind there's always something that you could be doing, it's just a matter of if you want to.

While I can attribute these immutable parts to my success, I can also attribute them to a lot of my stressors.

Having a plan has allowed me to take part in fun and unique experiences and opportunities, but it also makes me very impatient especially when interacting with people who tend to just "wing it".

Keeping myself busy has been very great for my mental health, however, there are moments when I am not doing anything where I feel "guilty" and I can't properly enjoy the moment.

The challenge that comes with our immutable parts is how these parts show up in relationships with other people. Ultimately, a big part of a successful relationship (platonic or romantic) is understanding where the other person is and seeing where you can bridge the gap.

As I think more on my immutable parts, I'm looking to see what I can do to make the negative aspects of those parts not come up as often.

Our immutable parts shape us but they don't have to be a hindrance to our growth or our full potential.