Ademusoyo

Today marks the end of my 30 day writing challenge 🥳

It feels good to hav e completed something that I said I was going to do.

Outside of missing one day (which I made up by extending the challenge), I really took the time to write and share my thoughts on whatever really came to mind.

As I reflect on my writings and the past 30 days, I wanted to. share some of the things that I've learned about myself:

learning #1: ideas flow pretty easily

I thought I would need a plan in order to know what I was going to write every single day. However, what I found interesting is that for the majority of my posts, my ideas usually came that day. It was a great opportunity to release the pressure of having to talk about a single topic and just let ideas flow as they came.

learning #2: getting my thoughts outside of my head is critical to reduce overthinking

There have been a couple full-circle moments with my writing that helped me able to process different things that I have going on in my mind. This 30 day challenge has helped me close some loops that I will forever be thankful for.

learning #3: building a writing habit was easy

I am honestly surprised that there was only one day in which I didn't write something. This 30 day writing challenge showed me that if I want to write every day I can do it and it wouldn't be a huge issue.

learning #4: i want to write more

I knew I loved writing when I first started this challenge, however, now I'm realizing just how much I like it. I'm excited to write more about books, productivity, or any other things I've learned in a space that isn't filled with a lot of pressure or structure.

For the remainder of the year I'm going to be taking a break so that I work on building a better content engine for my ideas and to come back ready to write more. I'm proud of myself for completing this writing challenge. This time has been invaluable.

for the most part most of the things that I've said I've done I haven't thought too far in advance.

not because I didn't think I could do them, but because I didn't know that I wanted to do them until that idea came into my head and I was able to execute it very quickly.

however, there are things that I knew I wanted to do, but also knew that I had to take time to do it and so it wasn't in a huge rush.

those goals were mostly financial and professional goals, and when I finally hit them I was so happy, but I knew it wasn't going to happen right away.

ever since I've completed those long term goals, I really didn't have much that I was working towards.

sure, I had been working towards something, but those things began to twist and turn as I was working on multiple demanding things all at the same time.

now, I feel like I'm at a place that I can finally just slow down and plot on what I want to do next.

this go around, I have more clarity on not just what I want professional and financially, but also a new sense on what I would like to accomplish.

I feel like I'm finally in a place that I can see what are some key things and interests that I have and can start to figure out places where those things can intersect and build upon the person that I am.

I feel like I've moved to a place in better understanding an alignment within myself.

because of this, i can confidently say that I will more than likely write a book one day.

i'm not sure what i will write a book on or even how I would go about it.

and i'm not in any rush to write one in the near future.

but i know now I can start preparing and collecting thoughts and ideas so that when that time comes I'll be ready.

embracing the journey while also knowing where you want to go is such a beautiful place to be especially when you have an idea of where you're going.

i can't wait to look back on this post and see when it actually happened.

"What part of you is immutable?"

I was scrolling through twitter and I saw a video of someone talking about how that is a question that they ask friends or even romantic partners to get a gauge on one's self-awareness and understanding of the core foundation of who they are as a person.

I'm a sucker for good thought provoking questions so I asked a couple people which sparked a lot of discussion and led me to reflect on my own.

While I'm still trying to understand all of the immutable parts of myself, here are two that came to mind:

Immutable Part #1: I'm always going to want, make, or have a plan.

I'm am a very type-a person. Planning helps me sort through my thoughts and give me some sense of control and relaxation. While I don't need everything to be planned to a t, I need to have something to really go off of.

Immutable Part #2: I am always going to find something to keep myself busy.

If I am choosing to do absolutely nothing, it's a very active choice. I hate the feeling of not maximizing my time and in my mind there's always something that you could be doing, it's just a matter of if you want to.

While I can attribute these immutable parts to my success, I can also attribute them to a lot of my stressors.

Having a plan has allowed me to take part in fun and unique experiences and opportunities, but it also makes me very impatient especially when interacting with people who tend to just "wing it".

Keeping myself busy has been very great for my mental health, however, there are moments when I am not doing anything where I feel "guilty" and I can't properly enjoy the moment.

The challenge that comes with our immutable parts is how these parts show up in relationships with other people. Ultimately, a big part of a successful relationship (platonic or romantic) is understanding where the other person is and seeing where you can bridge the gap.

As I think more on my immutable parts, I'm looking to see what I can do to make the negative aspects of those parts not come up as often.

Our immutable parts shape us but they don't have to be a hindrance to our growth or our full potential.

This past weekend, I was in South Carolina celebrating my friend graduate with her MBA. The trip was filled with food, fun, and laughter as we enjoyed each other’s company and had deep meaningful conversation.

I realized last night as I was heading to bed, that this was the first trip I’ve been on all year where I didn’t feel anxious.

For the first time since January I have enjoyed a trip completely void of anxious thoughts or worries.

I finally felt like I could just be present.

I mentioned in an earlier post that my relationship with travel was filled with so much anxiety and dread.

Now, I find that my relationship with travel has somewhat been healed and I can finally feel excited about travel again.

For most of my adult life, I’ve had the privilege of being able to see new places and experience the most amazing things.

While there has always been so much more that I want to see, I look forward to actually being able to see it and to be more intentional with my travels and having new experiences.

It’s amazing how time can heal some wounds and give you a fresh new perspective.

Thank you, South Carolina for giving me a new perspective.

Being able to witness your friends milestones is such an amazing part of life.

Today, I’m headed to Columbia, South Carolina to watch my friend graduate from business school.

For the past 2.5 years one of my best friend has been working towards her MBA while working a high-demanding job and dealing with various challenges in her personal life.

Im honestly in awe of how she was able to do it while still graduating with honors!

Being apart of the celebratory moments especially when you’ve witnessed what it took to get there makes the celebration all that more important.

When we celebrate, we’re celebrating this moment and the journey that it took to get there!

It’s a reminder that we can do the hard things and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Life is worth celebrating both you and the people around you.

This weekend has been a great reminder.

I love the moments when you can see how much you’ve grown.

To recognize that the things that used to stress you out don’t anymore.

Or to have a better understanding of what you deserve or not settling for less.

This year I’ve seen my growth through some of the hardest and most stressful times.

But I’ve also seen my growth in some of the nicer and softer ways that have allowed me to have more peace of mind.

I’m welcoming this growth with excitement and a different level of hope for the future.

I really love the person I’m becoming.

I started doing yoga seriously in 2020.

I was going through a lot personally in addition to the pandemic that was sweeping all of us.

I can't remember why exactly I started doing Yoga, but I remember that the moment I really got into it, the more I told myself that I wanted to do more of it.

My relationship with fitness has been pretty complicated throughout the years, but now I can say that I've found a good workout routine that works for me and have gone back to incorporating Yoga into my regimine.

Outside of the physical benefits of doing Yoga, I find that Yoga has been great for me mentally and emotionally as well.

Back in 2020, I found Yoga as a place where I would meditate through each of the poses, blocking out the noise and silencing the racing thoughts in my head.

Today, I see Yoga as a way to honor and appreciate my body.

Yoga, unlike any other workouts, is pretty much you and your body. I find it the one place that you can truly see how far you can push yourself without any assistance. With Yoga, you can see just how strong your body is on its own while opening your mind and heart for more areas to play and explore.

I've also found Yoga to be very restorative and healing both emotionally and physically as well. If there is an area of my body that feels tight, I can get into different postures that can help me release the tension. This has allowed my body to feel lighter and more at ease while still building more resilience and strength.

If there's one thing I want to do more of in 2024 it's Yoga. I'm excited to play around and deepen my practice and see what comes of it.

One of the biggest lessons I learned in my adulthood is everything is a tradeoff.

No matter what decision you make or what path you go on, it's not always completely perfect.

Something has got to give.

The same thing can be said about what we choose to prioritize.

The reality is is that we can't prioritize everything. There's always going to be something that is taking a back seat as we focus on something else.

In the spirit of being more intentional, one of the things that I want to start doing is having more consistent check-ins with myself answering these three questions:

Question #1: What are the areas that you want to grow?

These are the areas that I'm investing my time (and maybe money) it to getting better and improving. These areas will be top of mind and will likely require some routine or system around it in order to maintain focused.

Question #2: What are the areas that I am flowing?
Acknowledging what is going smoothly is important. This is where I plan on making sure that the things that are working and giving myself a pat on the back for getting into this state. My goal is to get as many things that I want to be doing into this state.

Question #3: What are the areas that I'm slowing down?
Like I said earlier, everything is a tradeoff. If there are areas that I've deemed as a priority for me to grow, there has to be something that I'm slowing down. Slowing down doesn't mean that it will be gone forever, but it will require some reevaluation if/when it were to come back.

Following this approach is something I'm going to be exploring and playing around with in the new year. My hope is that I can achieve more balance in my life and also be more intentional.

I never used to be a napper.

My parents always used to tell me that they would make sure that I stayed awake for as long as possible when I was a kid, because if I napped, I would not be able to sleep at night.

However, this year, I have developed a new love for sleeping.

I remember talking to a friend once and she said to me that "sleep is really our bodies only chance at rest. If we didn't sleep we would constantly have to be working."

Today, I woke up knowing I would need a nap later, but for some reason I refused to take one.

I told myself that going to bed early would be enough but my productivity was slowing down as the hours progressed.

At the end of my work day I finally took a nap and I woke up feeling so restored and ready to tackle my evening tasks.

After I woke up, I realized I should've just napped earlier.

My productivity during the day would've increased immensely had I just went and taken a nap.

Naps can be a form of productivity too. Just nap responsibly. 😉

Learning new things as an adult is hard.

When I was younger I played a variety of different sports and learned to play the clarinet.

The goal for these things was never to turn these into a profession, but rather, as a way to make myself “stand out” on college applications and appear more “well-rounded”.

When I got into college, my new focus was strictly academics where I was constantly hit with new challenges. However, once I graduated and entered the workforce, those challenges suddenly came to close.

I felt that there were stints of new challenges at work but then eventually I would understand and then I would be in search for a new challenge again.

My career as a software engineer was fueled by my chase for something new which led to my eventual burnout.

As I spent the majority of this year recovering from burnout, I came to this final realization:

Work doesn’t have to be the only thing that’s challenging

Coming to this conclusion, led me to embark on this new journey of discovery. I began to ask myself, “what are things that you want to learn?” and “what are new ways that you can challenge yourself that don’t tangentially relate to what you’re doing now”

Fast forward to now, I can confidently say I have found new ways to challenge myself outside of work and it has led me to feel a more balanced, less-anxious life.

As I continue to develop and invest in my current hobbies, I am also looking ahead to see what else I want to learn and when I want to carve out time to learn them.

Learning new things as an adult is hard but learning they’re three things that I recommend you keep in mind that make learning less of a stressor and more enjoyable:

Tip #1: Lower your expectations and get rid of any assumptions

Oftentimes we assume that certain things will be easier or harder based on prior or experiences. That usually leads to disappointment when things end up being harder or more of a challenge than you though. By reducing your expectations, you can assume that it’s going to take some time and just enjoy the time again.

Tip #2: Be okay with just sucking

In school, you’re always praised for being good and shamed for being bad. As a result, a lot of us struggle with this fear or failure. The truth of the matter is, when you start something, you’re going to be bad at it. It’s apart of the journey and it’ll make the moment when you’re no longer bad at it all that more special.

Tip #3: Start to envision yourself being good at it

Envisioning your success can be all the motivation you need to keep going. Start dreaming of the day when you can do or create the thing that you’ve always wanted to and know that this moment is helping you work towards that.

Making intentional efforts to learn new things as an adult has made me realize new things about myself and given me a newer sense of confidence and strength. I’m finding joy in the journey.

Today feels really hard to write.

The ideas are there, however, when I start to flesh out one of my ideas it doesn't feel good and I end up scrapping the entire thing.

Right now it feels like my mind has a bunch of different threads and it doesn't know which one to pick and to really dive deep into.

One of the reasons why I started this challenge was to be able to reignite and refuel my creativity and I'm realizing that it goes beyond the ideation. It's really about the flow.

Even though today isn't my day to flow creatively, it doesn't takeaway from me being able to show up.

Sometimes showing up is enough and this is me showing up.

We'll try again tomorrow.

I love going to brunch.

Going to brunch at least once during the weekend is the perfect signal that we are in the weekend and it is the perfect time to unwind and just relax.

I personally think brunch dates are the best dates, both romantic or platonic, because it doesn't have as much pressure or implication as a dinner date and there is plenty of time for you to continue about your day afterwards.

My favorite thing about going to brunch is the conversation.

Something about a mimosa that really gets the brain activated to truly have some of the most enriching and thought-provoking conversations.

And by thought-provoking conversations, I really mean its time to spill the tea.

Today was a surprisingly warm day in New York City and I met up with a friend in Brooklyn and we caught up, laughed, and just shared what we hope for in this new year.

I also learned so many fun and interesting things about her which is just a reminder that connections just don't stop at a certain point; they continue to evolve and grow overtime which further deepens the bond.

Brunch is one component that makes a perfect weekend in the city and is one of the things that I truly love about living in New York.

Small habits can always make a big impact.

I love having structure, but I'm also human.

Which means that sometimes I don't always have the discipline and the drive that I would like.

That being said, I do know what it feels like to have a really good day and these are things that I've found that really help center me, relax me, and make me feel empowered to take on whatever the day throws at me.

To be fully transparent, I'm running short on time today so you're getting a list with no explanation.

Things I do to make my life easier:

1. Don’t sleep with my phone in my room

2. Take my vitamins at night

3. Wake up at 6am 

4. Drink a bottle of water in the morning 

5. I wake up to low-fi beats 

6. 5 min journal 

7. Block myself from social media in the morning 

I'm sure this list will continue to evolve overtime but I feel good about where I'm at which is what matters.

2023 was rough

this year was by far one of my most challenging years but it is also probably one of the most transformational years.

I found an inner strength that I didn't know I had.

And I found myself in a space where I was continuously learning more about myself and the wonderful people around me.

In the moments of darkness, I savored every moment where I could experience joy, laughter and fun.

I developed a new level of tenacity that feels more defined, renewed and strengthened.

However, for 2024, I am really going to be focused on enjoyment.

Not just the parties and the travels, but just enjoying each day that I get to wake up and live my life.

I can say that I am in a space where I finally feel free to do what I want, and there's nothing that I am doing that I would rather not be doing it.

I feel like I'm finally in a place where I can move with ease.

And while that doesn't mean it's going to be stressful, it does mean that I will hopefully have a better way of dealing with it.

2024 is going to be a lot of continuous learning.

There were things that I started in 2023 but they haven't been refined yet.

I'm not in a huge rush but I want to make sure that I am taking the intentional steps to continuously invest and grow in these specific areas.

Here are my growth areas for 2024.

Growth Area #1: My Software Engineering Job

At the end of October I started a new job and it is probably one of the hardest roles that I have done. Instead of letting imposter syndrome get the best of me, I will be focusing on learning, getting up to speed and hope to one day being good at my job again.

Growth Area #2: Learning French

I've had this goal of learning french for awhile now and this year I have put some action behind my talk! While my french is not the best yet, I look forward to the day when I can roam the streets of any french speaking country and assimilate.

Growth Area #3: Fitness

I am someone who probably hates working out but I do it because it keeps me sane. Now, I feel like I've really become a bit of a fitness junkie and have begun to truly appreciate moving my body and finding new opportunities to challenge myself. I can say that I have a good workout split that challenges me but that I also enjoy as well. I want to continue prioritizing fitness and wellness in my life.

Growth Area #4: Productivity

The culture around productivity is often associated with hustle culture, but it doesn't have to be! I have always been someone who is always doing a lot, but I still have a pretty active social life and find time for relaxation. I'm looking forward to really connecting the dots and digging more into being more productive and I am excited to see where that goes.

I have no doubt that 2024 is going to throw me some big loop and there might be a chance that these priorities may shift, but if I can start off the year with a little bit more targeted intention, then at least I can say that I'm doing my best.

Let me just be the first one to admit that I do a lot.

And while I feel incredibly fortunate that for the most part I enjoy the things that I get to do, I'm struggling to figure out how it all works.

Lately I find myself getting overwhelmed by the different threads that I have going on and it's not because they are stressful.

It's because these threads are mostly threads that I'll have to make work for the foreseeable future.

Lately, I've been thinking about how I can become this person who can do all of these things without feeling like I am just caught on the hamster wheel that I have created for myself.

One of the things that I talk about very often is the importance of having a good morning routine because it can help guide the rest of my day.

There are somethings that I do in the morning on a very consistent basis that allows me to feel like I am starting my day off successful:

• Journaling

• Drinking water when I wake up

• Reading

There are somethings I do in the morning on a fairly consistent basis in the morning that help me start my day even more successful:

• Exercising

• Making myself breakfast in the morning

And there's the thing that I know I need to do concisely because it will make my day all that much more successful:

• Waking up at 6am

This habit of waking up early has by far been one of the hardest habits for me to keep up with.

I find myself instinctually hitting snooze, and to be honest I'm completely tired of it.

While I am still working on not being as hard on myself, I also need to be honest with myself as to why I can't commit to it.

It isn't because I can't get up early.

It isn't because I have nothing to do with that time.

It's because I'm a human.

I'm a human that needs sleep! And going to bed late and getting okay sleep and waking up early is really not working.

If I want to have a fully productive day when I wake up, it all needs to start with how I end the day before.

Which unfortunately isn't something I can just automate or use an app for.

It has to be an intentional effort.

So we're starting today.

By 10:30/11pm I will be in bed.

No more excuses. I want to have more good productive days that I know I am capable of having.

One of the things that I've really enjoyed about this writing challenge is the permission I have to explore.

When it came to content creation in the past, content ideas just came naturally to me mostly through things that I had been experience throughout my day-to-day life.

Before this challenge, I confined my creativity into a few buckets, and focused on keeping up with the system and routine that I had built for myself over the past few years.

One of the learnings and explorations that I've been unraveling through this year is coming to the terms with the fact that what served me before was great, however, it's not sustainable.

I have had to figure out what is sustainable in all of the different areas both professionally and personally.

However, I never sat down to really try to understand what is sustainable in terms of entrepreneurship.

I never stopped to ask myself, Where do I want to go?

Throughout this 30 day writing challenge, I've really been taking it day by day.

Despite having a short list of things that I want to talk about, if I don't feel like talking about it that day, I don't.

By giving myself the permission to explore beyond my usual topics, I'm finding a deeper understanding of myself and the things that I enjoy.

For the first time in awhile I've let myself out of a box.

I'm giving myself permission to deepen my understanding of my why by not putting a limit on what can be said or unsaid.

In giving myself permission, I'm unlocking something new.

I can't wait to keep digging further.

Today was the most Monday of Mondays.

I woke up later than expected and wasn't making good progress towards actually getting my day started in a productive way.

I already felt myself just counting down the days until Friday when the week had just started.

One of the things that I feel like I am struggling with is having my Mondays be more productive.

While I do get some things done over the weekend, it doesn't feel like it's enough to get me ready for the week ahead.

Today I took the day off to simply just reset.

Taking the time to cook, clean, and take care of some adult things that I had been neglecting.

Room by room my apartment was starting to feel more put together and I am feeling less and less anxious about the week ahead.

While most Mondays usually end up with me saying "I'll try again tomorrow", I'm happy that this Monday I took the time that I needed for myself in order to get myself in order.

Cheers to a better week ahead 🥂

I honestly can't believe it.

Just as I was about to head to bed, it occurred to me, "I almost forgot to write!"

The crazy part about almost forgetting to write, is that I had been thinking about writing all day.

All day I had thought about writing and knew exactly what I was going to write about.

I was even so proud of myself that for the past 12 days I have gotten a new post out daily even at the very last minute.

Life will really humble you.

Writing this post now about almost forgetting to write really taught me a few things.

Lesson #1: Good habits are intentional

Before today, if you were to ask me how the writing challenge was going I would've said it was easy and that it came second nature to me. Now, I'm realizing that the good habits I form are made by my intentional choices. I choose every day to keep up with my habits and this one is no different.

Lesson #2: Discipline doesn't just matter when it comes to things that you don't feel like doing.

I had a friend say in one of her TikTok videos that that day wasn't a motivation day it was a discipline day as she was working out. We often associate discipline kicking into gear for the things that we don't want to do but it's important for the things that we want to do too. No matter what we set out to do requires discipline even if you are motivated to get it done.

Lesson #3: Stop procrastinating.

Like I said earlier, I had been thinking about writing all day. If I would've just written when I had the time and the window to do it, this post would've been completely different. Good time management is working efficiently with time and that requires more focus as well as intentionality.

I can't promise that this is the last time I am going to forget, but I feel that if I can take what I have learned today, I shouldn't make this mistake again.

I love making a todo list.

Seriously, it's the one thing that I've found that actually reduces the overwhelm in my brain.

I get overwhelmed with all of the things that I need/want to get done; so much so that sometime's I just end up sitting down and doing nothing.

I used to really hate this myself.

For so long, I wished that I was someone who could just relax and flow through life and just somehow magically get things done.

But now I realized that writing todo lists is my biggest life hack. Here's how writing todo lists have changed my life:

#1 it helps me stay focused.

I find that I'm someone who can easily get distracted with a new thought or a new idea while I'm focusing on something else. With a todo list in front of me, I know what I need to get done which helps me keep my distractions to a minimum.

#2 I can better manage my time

Without a todo list, I find myself always asking, "What am I supposed to be doing?" with a todo list, I don't have to think about it anymore. It's there and I just have to execute it. I've found that the lack of indecision helps me get things done a lot faster, and I'm also able to see just how long certain things are going to take which can help me better prioritize my tasks.

#3 It helps me stay present

If I'm off hanging out with friends or doing something else, there is usually a lingering feeling of all of the things that I need to get done in the back of my mind. By creating todo lists on the go, I'm able to pass those thoughts on to paper which helps me enjoy what I'm doing now without having to worry about all the things that I need to get done.

Free-flowing todo lists are really the only way I've found to help me reduce some of my anxieties and feel empowered to take on the day to day.

As I check things off of my todo list I know that my time has been allocated properly and I am working intentionally towards my goals.