I'm a better leader because I've trained as a spiritual director, someone who helps others notice the work of God in their lives and move forward accordingly. Here's the top 10 principles I've learned:

1. When I'm meeting with another person, I need to be able to set all of my own issues to the side so I can be fully present to that person.

2. The more I can provide a non-anxious presence to others, then more they feel safe enough to speak honestly.

3. I convey respect, genuineness, and an openness to listen through my body posture and actions. I put away anything that would draw away my attention (laptop, phone, papers), turn my whole body toward the person, and provide eye contact. (Exception: if I need to take notes, I will indicate this so the other person knows what I'm doing.)

4. If someone is sharing something difficult, my first job is to listen empathetically, reflecting back both the content and emotion of what they are experiencing.

5. I can encourage another person to provide more details by asking concrete questions - questions that start with Who, What, Where, When, and How, but not Why. (Why can lead to confusion or defensiveness.)

6. Questions can be more powerful than statements in helping others develop new insights.

7. Paying attention to the smallest details can help yield valuable insights. Word choice, change in tone, shift in body posture - all are key elements to notice.

8. It's more important to keep the conversation moving forward than it is for me to have the right answers. Insights can arrive through the continued development of the conversation. I don't need to be the expert.

9. In the moment, I can trust my intuition and say what I believe is the next thing to say in the conversation. It's better for me to do that than to try to come up with a "clever" response.

10. My favorite moments are the "A-ha!" moments when someone has an insight that unlocks a new way forward. Celebrating with them is one of my biggest joys - and it helps them move forward too!