If you can keep your cool when everything is going crazy, that's when you're truly effective.

We all know those moments:

• Your high-stakes project is going off the rails and failure seems imminent.

• Your business is facing a dire threat, one that challenges your very survival.

• Tensions are high, angst is high, and everyone seems just a little on edge.

• There's way more work than can be done, everything feels urgent, and people are constantly on you and your team to deliver now.

In those situations, it's easy for people to act in ways that aren't the most helpful:

• Do what's in front of them or what the loudest person wants regardless of how important it is overall.

• Pressure other people to work harder or faster.

• Criticize others for not doing their part. Or for not giving them what they need to do their jobs.

• Shut down due to feeling overwhelmed.

• Verbalize their negative views in public settings.

As the leader in this situation, the following actions will help you lead effectively:

1. Practice self-regulation. Find ways to calm yourself, both in general and in the moment. Maintain safe relationships where you can talk about your stress and frustration. Engage in activities that give you enjoyment, both at work and outside of it.

2. Reduce tension between people by moving through it, not avoiding it. Speak calmly to calm others down. Meet with agitated people privately (when possible) to help them verbalize what's bothering them. Address public conflicts immediately before moving on to other business. Help people understand each other's perspectives.

3. Remind people of what's most important. Regularly describe both the main priorities and the reasons behind them. Tell them what they can ignore right now, even if it's broken or people are complaining. Tell them what has to be accomplished if you're going to be successful.

4. Clarify people's next actions. Tell people the specific action you need them to take. Be as descriptive as possible and remove as much ambiguity as you can. Give specific deadlines for when something needs to be done.

Leading in wartime is hard. Yet that is where you will grow the most as a leader, and how you lead during those times will make the difference between success and failure.

For further reading on this topic, I recommend:

• Andrew S. Grove - Only the Paranoid Survive

• Ben Horowitz - The Hard Thing About Hard Things

• Rita McGrath - Seeing Around Corners