Charlene Angeles

"No, Ronaldo is the best!" says my 7-year-old niece. We were arguing over FaceTime about who the GOAT was—Messi or Ronaldo.

"Can you get me a Ronaldo jersey for Christmas?"

"Do you know who he even plays for?" She didn't know where Portugal or Argentina were, nor did she care that her Uncle Paul was half Argentinian. But she knew the teams' jersey colors.

"I'll get you a Ronaldo jersey if Portugal wins the World Cup! But if Argentina wins, you have to wear a Messi jersey!"

"NO!" Izzy screamed emphatically. "I'll rip the jersey in half!" Okayyy, she's definitely not strong enough to tear a jersey apart, but her point was clear. "Ok, ok, you can bake us a cake in their colors." She was excited about decorating a cake—the bet had become a win/win scenario for her, and it took the fun out of it for me.

This moment represents why I love professional sports:

1. We become so emotionally invested in players and teams that we experience the full gamut of human emotion from one tournament. And what makes it great is that we're doing it with others, so we never feel alone.

2. It connects people. It brings people together across generations, across cities, and in the World Cup, across the whole world. It can also connect you to your roots. Paul didn't watch sports before me. But this year we've been able to celebrate our hometowns with the Seahawks and Knicks winning championships. And now we have the opportunity to celebrate some old and new roots (with us living in Messi-land Miami) with Argentina making it to the World Cup Final.

3. It creates memories. This surprising conversation with my niece will forever be seared in my memory, as will all the biggest wins (like that UCLA comeback against Gonzaga in March Madness '06) and heartbreaks (that Seahawks SB loss), and witnessing the people in my life go through it too.

Let's go, Argentina!

1. My unconscious beliefs are driving your life. Examine your beliefs, especially those running the background, subconsciously, deep down. Because that’s what’s creating your reality. Wondered why you couldn’t change how you behave? Because you haven’t explored deep enough. 

2. My attention is everything. It’s more important than time. My attention is the most valuable thing I have. It’s more important than time because what you pay attention to dictates how and how well you spend your time.

3. Finding like-minded people and engaging with different people are both important and valuable. During my break, I moved from Seattle to Miami, the farthest possible city from Seattle on the continental US. I didn’t know what to expect. But it’s been a great adventure so far. The culture is similar and different from the cultures I’ve grown up with. But it has solidified my belief in traveling, exploring different parts of the world, different cultures, pushing your edges of comfort and what’s known. It results in expansion of knowledge, of perspective of others, and of self.

There are a lot of books about how to live a good life. I’ve read many of them in the self-development section at the bookstore. From books on secure attachment to ones on how to become financially successful. 

But the best book on creating a meaningful life I've found is The Meaning of Your Life by Arthur Brooks. Caveat: I’m only half way through the book.

For a few reasons:

• Reason #1: He actually tackles the meaning of your life instead of feeding you substitutes for finding your own meaningful life such as how to get into good schools, how to be successful in your career, how to be financially successful, how to improve your relationships, how to improve yourself - achieve your goals, be more productive. One’s meaning in life is personal, different from person to person. So to tackle this subject with brutal honesty means you can’t give someone a step by step guide to finding their meaning. You may follow the steps and be as lost as possible. I just really admire him for trying.

• Reason #2: Despite point number one above. I think his steps are actually really helpful. Like I said it’s honest. For example, he says if your work isn’t meaningful, quit your job. But obviously be responsible when quitting your job.

• Reason #3: It gave me a lot to think about. He includes a quiz at the beginning of the book that gives you a score on meaning and presence. And my score added up to a perpetually seeker. He also scored as a seeker. And his mirror to this type is that we might continue seeking our meaning even if we’ve got a good idea about what it is. And that stung a little bit. Perpetually seeking in my case is avoiding the fears that come with pursuing the meaningful life that you know you want.

I'm reading Arthur Brooks' book titled The Meaning of Your Life. What a huge undertaking to try to distill the meaning of life in an actionable book, and I'm grateful that Mr. Brooks took it on. I actually resonated with a lot of what he discusses in my own personal journey.

One of the action he recommends is to set proxy goals as a way to get closer to finding your life's calling. As the idea of a calling is easy to understand but elusive when it comes to finding it.

While proxy goals on the other hand, he says, are "metaphorical stars in the sky you can see and measure that, you assume, will lead you to the calling you desire." They are aligned with your internal values and interests so that they create a sense of calling. And something you can measure!

Brooks' lays out that good proxy goals have 3 characteristics:

It is non-zero sum. Because if it was a zero sum goal, then it would be a competitive goal. Where by you achieving the goal, no one else can. For example, there is one director role within your organization and only one person can take on that role. The point is zero sum goals probably point to status, power, admiration as the motivation behind the goal. While a non-zero sum goal requires that there is more depth in the reasoning behind why you want to pursue it.

Your motive for striving for it should be to move towards something, not avoiding something else. This characteristic again asks you to understand your motivation behind a specific goal. If the motivation is avoidance of an outcome, it's coming from a place of fear or scarcity. If the motivation is to move towards something, there exists a deeper desire that is positive and not based on a "negative" feeling.

It is non-positional. This means that it's not to create social comparison. This characteristic speaks to the similar traps in the first one above--are you doing this for status, power, or admiration? The proxy goal might result in impressing others, or gaining admiration, but it shouldn't be the motivator. The less the motivation is for status, the more room you create for meaning.

I want to write about my personal growth journey because I have gone through some huge spurts of growth the last few years. And I feel compelled to write about it.

The person I was 4 years ago: I had a good job in BigTech, financially successful, receipts in my legal and policy advocacy work, and I made my parents proud. But I thought "Is there more?" I felt internal blocks. I was just hitting the milestones and they weren't as fulfilling as they used to be.

So I did deep inner work. I worked through layers of fear, shame, and resentment, and let go of conditioning that was holding me back. The latest and most core belief that was holding me back--the belief that were was a right way to do things. And looking back on my life, I had always been driven by this deep desire to figure out and abide by what was the right thing to do was. But that catch . . . the "right thing" was always based on someone else's blueprint. When you're making decisions based on other people's exepectations or desires, both consciously and subconsciously, you end up living a life for others not yourself.

This unraveling took some time. Oftentimes, our minds know what's happening, but the rest of us takes time to follow or require more work to transform. What does that look like? Grief, relief, excitement at the same time.

Now I feel more free to pursue what I want but without the certainty of "the right thing" and other people's blueprint, this period feels very strange. It's scary and exciting at the same time. I choose a direction and take a step, wonder what I'm doing, then I take another step. Writing this piece is a part of it.

In the last 6 months, I've transitioned from the 16% of the population who were casual AI chatbot users to the top 0.04% who use AI to build full applications and automations. (We all saw that infographic with the green, yellow, and red dots).

In the beginning there were many wasted hours watching YouTube videos that were trying to get views more than teach, or asking Claude Cowork to do ridiculous tasks that maxed out my tokens on the first few days I was using it with terrible outputs.

If I were to do the last 6 months over again, here's where I would start to make the most of my time and learn and build with AI faster:

• Take Foundational Courses with Women Defining AI: The lessons break down the technical concepts into the most basic, essential building blocks and are communicated so effectively that I was able to connect more dots around AI in the couple weeks I sped through the courses compared to the previous 3 months.

• Sign up for Lenny Rachitsky's Insider Product Pass and Play with Different Tools: Definitely get the INSIDER Product Pass. I know it's an investment but it's totally worth it if you're committed to becoming a power user. You get access to some of the best AI tools at a fraction of the price. Play with as many as you can and as you use more and more tools, you start to develop an intuition of how the models and the tools work.

• Start Building Things You'll Use: Build a CRM, a task manager, a Second Brain, a content creator, etc. Build something that's helpful and continue working on improving it that it becomes so useful that you don't have to remind yourself to use it.

These 3 tips will accelerate your learning process.

There are 3 topics I am actively thinking about a lot these days:

Topic #1: Writing a book

I'm interested in writing a book because I feel compelled to write about what I've experienced over the last 5 years.

I've been journaling consistently for almost 10 years. And sharing written reflections with my community in the last 4 years. I took all that writing and worked with several AI tools to develop the spine of my book, the story arc, and the main events I wanted to focus on. And I drafted a manuscript. I HAVE a manuscript!

My hope is that over the next few months, as I continue to develop my daily writing habit and my voice, I'll be able to improve the manuscript and start sharing.

Topic #2: Nonlinear careers, fractional work

In trying to figure out what I wanted to do next in my career, while leveling up in my own AI skills, and following what interests me and entrepreneurs/creators/infuencers who spoke about things I was interested in, I started seeing a trend around people pivoting mid-career to take non-traditional paths.

And I've been having conversations with more women who are feeling that friction with what they are doing now that makes them want to pivot in their careers to "do something else."

I'm going to continue connecting with more and more women on this topc and also write about it.

Topic #3: Making new friends

I'm interested in making new friends!

I moved to Miami. I've been spending time in 3 cities this year, and maybe 4 (LA in Sept/Oct?). I have new interests. All reasons why I'm putting effort into making new friends, while nurturing or rebuilding current/old relationshisps. My community, the people I surround myself with is the most important thing to me!!

It would be great to connect with other people who are interested in these same topics—so if any of the above resonates, feel free to reach out!

I've committed to publish a piece of writing for 30 days straight.

Here are a few reasons why:

1. I feel compelled to write. You can call it a calling but it's been a strong feeling for several months now. I want to write about what I've learned the last several years, and if it can help handful of people, it'll be worth it.

2. I feel like a completely different person from who I was 4 years ago. And I don't want to forget the lessons that led me here. I want to write to deepen my understanding of those lessons and never forget.

3. I want to write about what interests me the most and connect with like-minded people. I've already been putting myself out there recently with published content, and I've enjoyed connecting with others I otherwise wouldn't have.

I'm excited to start sharing my writing!