I want to write about my personal growth journey because I have gone through some huge spurts of growth the last few years. And I feel compelled to write about it.

The person I was 4 years ago: I had a good job in BigTech, financially successful, receipts in my legal and policy advocacy work, and I made my parents proud. But I thought "Is there more?" I felt internal blocks. I was just hitting the milestones and they weren't as fulfilling as they used to be.

So I did deep inner work. I worked through layers of fear, shame, and resentment, and let go of conditioning that was holding me back. The latest and most core belief that was holding me back--the belief that were was a right way to do things. And looking back on my life, I had always been driven by this deep desire to figure out and abide by what was the right thing to do was. But that catch . . . the "right thing" was always based on someone else's blueprint. When you're making decisions based on other people's exepectations or desires, both consciously and subconsciously, you end up living a life for others not yourself.

This unraveling took some time. Oftentimes, our minds know what's happening, but the rest of us takes time to follow or require more work to transform. What does that look like? Grief, relief, excitement at the same time.

Now I feel more free to pursue what I want but without the certainty of "the right thing" and other people's blueprint, this period feels very strange. It's scary and exciting at the same time. I choose a direction and take a step, wonder what I'm doing, then I take another step. Writing this piece is a part of it.