Christian and non-Christian agree, finding love is the most important part of being human? But what does love mean and how do we find it? We are not at all agreed on that, as chapter 7 of Telling a Better Story explains.

INSIDE THE SECULAR STORY

• The scientific secular story says we are simply the result of natural processes, and therefore love is either a chemical reaction or a survival mechanism.

• The cultural narrative of achievement views love as a transaction that we pay into, in the hope of getting more out of it.

• The self-actualization story which ties human flourishing to self-expression views others as simply an instrument to help our self-actualization.

All these stories base love upon self-interest, raising big questions:

• Can self-interest and survival of the fittest be the foundation for loving relationships?

• Can we rest in another’s love as a gift if we feel we have to earn it?

• Is this ‘love’ sufficient to keep people together through tough times, times when people are not advancing our self-actualization?

OUTSIDE TO THE CHRISTIAN STORY

Although secular people often live self-sacrificial rather than self-interested lives, in doing so they are living consistently with the Christian story, not their own secular story.

• Love is essential to God as an eternal communion of self-giving love.

• Made in the image of a self-giving God, we are designed to lovingly give ourselves to others.

• In the ultimate act of self-giving love, God gave himself as a sacrifice for sin, to secure our love for him and others.

• Resting in God’s love changes us and our love, and living out this love through personal sacrifice is the only way to discover our true selves.

What does love mean and how do we find it? Find the basis, meaning, and resources for love in the Christian story of self-fulfillment through self-denial.