A couple of days, I read it again on Twitter:

Say "yes" in your 20s and "no" in your 30s.

It was Sahil Bloom himself who promoted this idea. It's not really a new idea and I stumbled across it a couple of times during the last few years.

People recommend this idea because saying "yes" in your 20s would promise to put you out of your comfort zone, push your boundaries, build your network and allow you to learn, learn, learn. In your 30s you should say "no" more often so that you can focus (on yourself) and implement your learnings from the last decade.

In the last few days, I have been thinking a lot about this advice, especially since I'll reach the 30 years milestone this year.

My own experience

When I'm reflecting on my 20s, I said mostly "yes" to many external opportunities but consequently said "no" to my own ideas.

I was definitely pushed out of my comfort zone, learned a lot, built a network and gained access to many unique opportunities. But the price was that I was not fully following my own path. And in the end, it even felt to me like I was leaving my own path.

That's why for 2022 I decided to do it differently.

I'm done with saying "yes" to everyone and working for their dreams and saying "no" to my own dreams. From this year, I will say "yes" to my own journey and more "no" to external opportunities (even though that doesn't mean that I will say "no" to everything).

Take it with a grain of salt

The real question is, to what should you say "yes" and to what "no"? To external opportunities? To your own ideas? To try out as much as possible?

It really depends on you and your journey. I think we should generally take this idea with a grain of salt.

Saying "yes" to external opportunities can have many benefits (learning, growing, building a network, ...).

But as always there's a tradeoff.

When you say "yes" to something, you also say "no" to another thing.

And it could be dangerous if you keep saying "no" to your inner path and own dreams. There's a huge risk that you are being steered by other people, leave your own path and are not in control of your life anymore.

Do you want to do this for 10 years? Can you easily just quit this behaviour after 10 years? Will your network accept that you suddenly start saying "no" more often to them? Can you find back to your own path? Can you find your own path this way?

Say "yes" if it complements your inner path or you don't know your path yet.

"Say 'yes' in your 20s and 'no' in your 30s." to me personally sounds a bit like saying "no" to your own dreams for 10 years and getting steered by other people.

On the one side, I'm glad that I said "yes" to certain external opportunities. But on the other side, I regret that I said "no" for such a long time to my own dreams and my inner path.

Based on my own experience, I would recommend saying "yes" to external opportunities, if:

• either (you already know your own path):

  • the opportunity benefits you in a great way,

  • you can't achieve the result on your own or it's very difficult,

  • and it doesn't contradict your own path; better: it complements your own path.

• or (you don't know your own path yet)

  • it helps you find out what your inner self wants