π¦ Tobias Scharikow π’ (2/100)
/lyghthaus
Hi and welcome! I'm Tobias from Germany and I write about personal development, mindfulness, designing your life and bootstrapping as a solopreneur.
π¦ Tobias Scharikow π’ (2/100)
Designing your life
4y ago
I participated in the January 2022 cohort Ship30for30.
This means that I wrote and published an atomic essay each day for the last 30 days. In fact, this is my 30th essay! I have to admit, it was a great experience!
I still need to dive down and reflect on everything. But if you would ask me at this moment what I learned in these 30 days, I would probably tell you the following things:
My learnings
Everyone can start writing.
Writing is amazing and makes a ton of fun!
There's more to writing than I thought before. When you start writing down your ideas and thoughts, I would go so far as to say that writing can start to transform your life.
When you begin writing and publishing, you become more open and start consuming consciously, always looking out for new ideas. I generated tons of ideas to write about and still have a huge backlog!
Being part of a community is amazing and helps a lot going this way.
Writing is giving and taking. Give feedback and receive feedback. Engagement is key.
When building a writing habit, doing this for 30 days is good. But for me, towards the end, it was getting more difficult.
Focussing on progress instead of perfection is one of the most important learnings, and you can apply that to many more areas of your life.
Once you learned the basics and built the habit, you can extend this and use it for whatever you like, whether this is for a blog, a landing page, a newsletter, Threads on Twitter, an e-book, a digital product, an online course, etc.
I don't know if it's because I am an introvert, but sometimes the engaging part was really difficult. Engagement takes time!
Some of my analytics for the last 28 days
More than 100 new followers
Tweets increased by over 500%
Tweet impressions increased by over 600%
Profile visits increased by over 400%
Mentions increased by over 400%
I'm really thankful for this experience and definitely would recommend it to anyone interested in starting writing.
Here are my next steps
First, I need to take a small break. I feel like the quality of my last essays has decreased a bit. I will use the next week for the following bullet points.
Deep reflection on the last 30 days.
Deep dive into my analytics.
Break down and optimize my personal content categories and preferred voice and formats.
Continue to develop knowledge on writing.
Find out what's the best way for me to create and engage.
Put it all into a (content) strategy.
Keep writing & publishing regularly.
π¦ Tobias Scharikow π’ (2/100)
Designing your life
4y ago
A couple of days, I read it again on Twitter:
Say "yes" in your 20s and "no" in your 30s.
It was Sahil Bloom himself who promoted this idea. It's not really a new idea and I stumbled across it a couple of times during the last few years.
People recommend this idea because saying "yes" in your 20s would promise to put you out of your comfort zone, push your boundaries, build your network and allow you to learn, learn, learn. In your 30s you should say "no" more often so that you can focus (on yourself) and implement your learnings from the last decade.
In the last few days, I have been thinking a lot about this advice, especially since I'll reach the 30 years milestone this year.
My own experience
When I'm reflecting on my 20s, I said mostly "yes" to many external opportunities but consequently said "no" to my own ideas.
I was definitely pushed out of my comfort zone, learned a lot, built a network and gained access to many unique opportunities. But the price was that I was not fully following my own path. And in the end, it even felt to me like I was leaving my own path.
That's why for 2022 I decided to do it differently.
I'm done with saying "yes" to everyone and working for their dreams and saying "no" to my own dreams. From this year, I will say "yes" to my own journey and more "no" to external opportunities (even though that doesn't mean that I will say "no" to everything).
Take it with a grain of salt
The real question is, to what should you say "yes" and to what "no"? To external opportunities? To your own ideas? To try out as much as possible?
It really depends on you and your journey. I think we should generally take this idea with a grain of salt.
Saying "yes" to external opportunities can have many benefits (learning, growing, building a network, ...).
But as always there's a tradeoff.
When you say "yes" to something, you also say "no" to another thing.
And it could be dangerous if you keep saying "no" to your inner path and own dreams. There's a huge risk that you are being steered by other people, leave your own path and are not in control of your life anymore.
Do you want to do this for 10 years? Can you easily just quit this behaviour after 10 years? Will your network accept that you suddenly start saying "no" more often to them? Can you find back to your own path? Can you find your own path this way?
Say "yes" if it complements your inner path or you don't know your path yet.
"Say 'yes' in your 20s and 'no' in your 30s." to me personally sounds a bit like saying "no" to your own dreams for 10 years and getting steered by other people.
On the one side, I'm glad that I said "yes" to certain external opportunities. But on the other side, I regret that I said "no" for such a long time to my own dreams and my inner path.
Based on my own experience, I would recommend saying "yes" to external opportunities, if:
either (you already know your own path):
the opportunity benefits you in a great way,
you can't achieve the result on your own or it's very difficult,
and it doesn't contradict your own path; better: it complements your own path.
or (you don't know your own path yet)
it helps you find out what your inner self wants
π¦ Tobias Scharikow π’ (2/100)
Designing your life
4y ago
Welcome to Design Your Life x5!
In this ongoing series, in each essay, we explore one different idea that helps you to design your life (e. g. productivity, goal setting, time management, mindfulness, tools, frameworks, etc.) in 5 main points.
Designing your life means holistically reflecting on and understanding your past, organizing and focussing on your present and shaping your future.
πΈ Eat That Frog
ποΈ #1 What is it?
Eat That Frog is a productivity method developed by Brian Tracy. We often tend to procrastinate when we need to do "ugly" and big but important tasks.
The consequence: If we don't complete them, either we don't reach our goals or they will be in the way if we want to reach our goals.
That's why Brian Tracy recommends identifying these tasks and finishing them as soon as possible with the highest priority.
βοΈ #2 How to use it?
Make a list of tasks you need to complete. You can do it in the morning for this day, or the evening before.
Identify the frog(s). Ask yourself: Which are the biggest and most important tasks?
Eat the frog(s) directly in the morning. When starting the day, focus on eating (completing) the frog(s) first. If you have identified multiple frogs, focus on the most unpleasant one.
π€ #3 Why does it help to design your life?
Organize your present: It helps you with prioritization and focus on the most important tasks.
π #4 Pros & Cons
β Helps you to boost your motivation after you have completed this method because you ate the frog which is a good feeling.
β Many people are typically the most productive in the morning. That's why it makes sense to focus on the frog(s) in the morning.
β It forces you to prioritize your tasks.
β For some people, this can make the start of the day more difficult because we instantly need to focus on the frog(s). For some people, it's easier to start the day with easier and smaller tasks to boost their motivation.
β There is an implicit negative view of the frog(s). But why not try to see them as a positive challenge?
β In general, sometimes it might be better if we follow our energy flow (e. g. creative flow).
π‘ #5 Tips
Cut the frogs into more manageable subtasks if they are too big.
When identifying frogs, think about the following questions: How important are they? How difficult are they? How large are they? How time-consuming are they? How unpleasant are they?
Brian Tracy recommends always working with lists.
When eating the frog, try to beat procrastination and work deeply on them. Of course, you can pair it with other methods, such as Pomodoro.
It's useful if you already know the frogs the evening before, so you can get mentally aware of them.
π¦ Tobias Scharikow π’ (2/100)
Designing your life
4y ago
This essay has two parts. The first part was about explaining why it's so important HOW we give feedback. This part is about how we can actually give better feedback.
How can we give better feedback?
I reflected on my own experiences of receiving and giving feedback.
In what ways did people tell me their feedback? Which ones did I perceive as a good way? Which ones made a real impact on me? Which ones hurt me or "broke" me? How do I give feedback to other people (it's always important for me to be in harmony with the people around me)?
I thought a lot about these questions and came up with a manifesto.
Manifesto for giving better feedback
This manifesto is especially relevant for the way HOW we give feedback. The rules should be viewed in combination and not in isolation.
These are the 10 rules I found of giving better feedback:
β₯οΈ BE EMPATHETIC
Always empathize with the person you are giving feedback to. Take care of their personality. Think from their perspective.
Ask yourself: How do they feel now? How will your feedback be received? How will they feel after that? What can you do, to make the person feel good?
π BE POSITIVE
No matter if you are giving positive or constructive feedback, always include positivity. Especially when giving constructive feedback, make sure to also say what was good.
Ask yourself: What went well? What are positive examples? What is the positive view of this situation?
π BE HONEST & HONOURABLE
Don't give feedback to hurt someone or to take revenge. If you don't have the intention to truly motivate and cheer the person up (positive feedback) or try to help the person grow (constructive feedback), then maybe it's better not to give feedback at all. Try to be honest and honourable when giving your feedback.
Ask yourself: Can you praise the person with your feedback? Can you help the person to grow and improve? Do you have a true and honourable intention?
π€ BE HELPFUL
Always share your ideas on what could be done better and how. If you know how to do that, don't leave the person alone with your feedback, but try to offer your help.
Ask yourself: How can you help the person to implement the feedback you gave?
π― BE SPECIFIC
Be as specific as possible about your feedback. The recipient later needs to work with and think about this feedback. Give examples, make it concrete, explain the context and why you are giving this feedback.
Ask yourself: Is your feedback comprehensible? Will the recipient understand it? Can the recipient implement it? Are your proposed solutions feasible?
π€ BE CLEAR IN YOUR MIND
Be clear about why you want to give this feedback and if you are the person that should give this feedback.
Ask yourself: Do you really know it better? Are you the person that should give this feedback? Or should you leave it up to another person? What are your reasons for giving this feedback? Are these reasons appropriate?
π BE RESPECTFUL
Always respect the other person and their opinion. Giving feedback should not be a monologue. Listen to the recipient, and answer their questions. Maybe the person doesn't want to hear your feedback at all.
Ask yourself: Do you show enough respect? Does the person want to hear your feedback? How do they respond to your feedback? What is their opinion?
π‘ BE OPEN
Sometimes we are wrong with our feedback. As long as we had honourable intentions, this is not really bad. But always listen to the recipient and stay open-minded towards their opinion, knowledge and perspective. Maybe it turns out, the other person is right and we are wrong.
Ask yourself: Where is the difference between the person and you? Is your feedback based on facts or your personal opinion? Can you stay open-minded when exchanging your feedback?
π§ BE CALM & OPEN TO EMOTIONS
Feedback is necessary for different types of situations. We should be aware of them. Sometimes, a person needs emotional feedback rather than rational feedback. When criticising someone, we shouldn't get loud or even shout at them.
Ask yourself: What is the situation like? Is it an emotional situation? Or an objective one? Does the recipient need emotional feedback or constructive feedback? Can you stay calm in an objective situation? Can you give emotional support in an emotional situation?
π BE OBLIGING
When, how and where we give the feedback often is important. Choose a context that is appropriate for the recipient to receive this feedback.
Ask yourself: When and where should you give this feedback? What's the best way to do it - personal talk, call, message, ...? Do you have enough time? Can you keep your focus on this?
π¦ Tobias Scharikow π’ (2/100)
Designing your life
4y ago
Welcome to Design Your Life x5!
In this ongoing series, in each essay, we explore one different idea that helps you to design your life (e. g. productivity, goal setting, time management, mindfulness, tools, frameworks, etc.) in 5 main points.
Designing your life means holistically reflecting on and understanding your past, organizing and focussing on your present and shaping your future.
π·οΈ Kanban Board
ποΈ #1 What is it?
A Kanban Board is a tool to visualize how items go through a process or workflow. You can use a digital (several apps allow you to use it, such as Trello or Notion) or an analogue Kanban Board (e. g. on a whiteboard or with sticky notes).
Another main purpose of the Kanban Board is to limit the items in progress to increase productivity.
The key aspects of a Kanban Board are columns and cards/items. Each column represents a possible state of the process.
Let's imagine the cards should represent tasks. In this case, common states and thus columns could be: Not Started, This Week, In Progress, In Review, Blocked and Finished.
So each item flows visually through the different columns aka states from the left to the right, until the item went through the whole process.
βοΈ #2 How to use it?
Think about the process and items you want to transfer into a Kanban Board. You can literally transform any process into a Kanban Board. In the context of designing your life, probably the most important one is to use a Kanban Board for your personal task management. But you could also use it for your goals or any other concepts.
Determine the columns/states of the process. It's important to pick the states that are really relevant for the visualization. If I would like to put my goals into a Kanban Board, I would probably use the following states: Backlog/Future, This Year, This Quarter, Finished.
The Key is that the items always flow from the left to the right.Define the relevant information for each card. Which information do you want to define on each card for the items? Information for goals could be the SMART Goal definition (i. e. the deadline, the specific definition of the goal, etc.), priority, relationships to tasks or habits, etc.
Fill the Kanban Board. In the beginning, you need to fill in your cards (e. g. tasks or goals). When you have new tasks or goals, put them in there (usually in the first column).
Update the Kanban Board. When the states of the cards change (e. g. a goal is completed, a task is finished), update the cards on the Kanban Board. So you are always able to see the visual progress of each card.
Periodically, clean the Kanban Board and review. You can do this for example once a week. Check if every card is at the correct place, see what you have finished and think about how you can drive the cards not finished yet forward to complete the process for them.
π€ #3 Why does it help to design your life?
Understand your past: Helps you to visually review what you have finished.
Organize your present: Helps you to limit your items in progress so that you can keep up the focus. When you have finished your tasks, you can keep grabbing the next one with the highest priority.
Shape your future: Helps you to have a central place to collect your items (such as tasks or goals). You can define them, add priorities and arrange them accordingly. You can use the Kanban Board for weekly planning and decide which cards you want to finish in the next week.
π #4 Pros & Cons
β Helps you to visualize your cards.
β Pretty flexible, you can use whatever columns/states and items/cards you want.
β Helps you to instantly see how many cards are in a certain state (e. g. in progress or blocked).
β Makes a great combination with the Sprint method.
β Limited for long-term planning.
β Sometimes it grows really fast and can become a bit chaotic. Filters and search options can help here (for digital tools).
β Periodic updates are important because the value of an outdated Kanban Board is not that huge.
π‘ #5 Tips
Limit the cards that are in progress in parallel, so that you can keep up your focus.
Think about which states/columns you really want to make explicit (for example "blocked" often makes sense if there are dependencies).
Keep your Kanban Board clean and sort the items according to their priority.
You can even use multiple Kanban Boards for integrated processes. In this case, mostly the last column/state from Kanban Board #1 is then the trigger and the first column/state from Kanban Board #2.
Kanban Boards become even more valuable when combined with the Sprint method.