Mark Tiderman
/marktiderman
My life's work is to activate and galvanize leaders. My philosophy is summed up in 3 words. FUN. GROW. WIN. Over the next 30 days, I'll be writing 30 Atomic Essays.
Mark Tiderman
2y ago
GOOD - Jocko
Everything changes when we reframe our challenges into opportunities.
This 2-minute video from Jocko Willink is the most potent empowerment you can give yourself or your team. I've watched it countless times and recommended it to my clients even more.
When something is wrong and going bad, he says "GOOD" and then reframes his attention to focus on the opportunity that the challenge brings.
Every challenge brings an opportunity. Not everyone will see it. Most will not. What we fix our eyes on matters. If we fix our eyes on the problems, we will get more problems. If we fix our eyes on the opportunity, we will get more opportunities. You can call this the "compounding law of attention." The things we give our attention, compound. This is why gratitude is such a powerful practice. And why automatic negative thoughts are so detrimental. Because they compound over time.
Here is the script he uses.
CHALLENGE....GOOD...OPPORTUNITY
Whatever challenge you are facing today. I encourage you to flip it with this script.
CHALLENGE at WORK
- received some challenging feedback from your boss....good...at least you are aware of it now and can work on it
- high employee turnover....good...now we can bring in some fresh perspective.
- your budget got cut....good...lets innovate and do more with less.
- team members disengaged....good...now we can build some bridges of connection
- teammates causing issues....good...now you can have that heart-to-heart you've been putting off.
GOOD at HOME
- hurt your wrist and can't workout....good...now you can catch up on some running.
- lost your phone....good...now you've got more time to journal.
- got laid off....good...now you can launch that new venture.
- conflict at home....good.... It gives you a chance to get some good feedback you weren't aware of.
- recent cancer diagnosis....good...you're no longer taking things for granted.
That last one hits home. My dad was diagnosed with cancer 11 years ago this week. It reminds me of another quote I heard around that time.
"The same sun will harden clay and melt wax."
It is from a book by Tim Keller called "Walking with God through Pain and Suffering." It means the same suffering will cause some people to melt towards God and others to harden away from him.
It is tough to see the good in a challenging situation. In order to do so, we have to shift our perspective, to emotionally detach from the pain, and rise above it. This doesn't cancel out the pain or the struggle; it adds to it.
Saying the word "GOOD" is kind of like the word "AND".
It creates a paradox where two seemingly contradictory truths come together to create an even greater truth.
There is a darkness rising....GOOD...It will be easier to see the light
Take heart.
Video credit Jocko Willink and his leadership development firm Echelon Front https://www.linkedin.com/company/echelon-front-llc/
Mark Tiderman
🚀My Stories
2y ago
I was 2 miles into the Cincinnati marathon and I felt my knee go out. There was pain, fear, and then dread. "There is no way I'm going to make it."
I just can't do it. The next 24.2 miles felt impossible. I had trained for 18 weeks, and less than 20 minutes in, I was ready to quit.
I'm sure you've felt like that. You've set out to do something hard. You are in the thick of it, and you feel the weight of all that lies ahead—all the emotions, all the cost, all the miles at once. It's overwhelming. It feels impossible.
But there is another option.
"Run the mile you are in."
That is a quote from marathon legend Ryan Hall.
It's an encouraging perspective. And it's true because it is actually impossible to run all the miles at once. You can't. You can only run one mile at a time. You can only control the current moment you're in.
So that is what I did. I focused on completing mile 3. Then 4, 5, and 6. Before I knew it, I had crested mile 7 of the ominous Eden Park Hill and was met with an epic sunrise and a new confidence. I hadn't quit yet. Every mile I completed was now cheering me on. One by one, they ticked away. Many challenges still awaited me, including a porta-potty disaster and my knee going out again at the 19-mile mark, but those would have to wait until their proper time; because I was present running the mile I was in. Focused on my breathing and my steps. Before I knew it, I crossed the finish line. I had finished the race.
I found my bag and called my dad saying I did it. I hadn't panicked. I hadn't quit. I had run the mile I was in. That is why I chose this picture for this post. Because I need to remind myself of this . We need to remind each other "to run the mile we are in".
If you look at the picture you wont see my gray beardhair because I didn't run the Flying Pig yesterday, in fact the story I just shared was from 18 years ago when I ran it the first time. This year I'm running a different kind of marathon. Learning how to manage my recently diagnosed ADHD, frustrated that I still don't communicate well enough in my marriage, still dealing with my trust issues, still learning the basic of receive feedback, take ownership, apologize and speak gently when I'm heated. And in the past 2 weeks, I've led through the funeral of a 15-year-old girl in our community. It's easy to lose heart to feel like this race is impossible. But instead I will simply run the mile I am in.
So, what race feels impossible today?
- How far your team still needs to go
- the many hard marriage or parenting conversations are still needed
- The trauma you have to carry
- The many skills you still need to learn
- the amount of debt you still have to pay off
- whatever race you are in
Run the mile you are in.
Or put another way as another wise man once said. "do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."
Tag someone who needs to hear this today.
PS shoutout to all the runners! Well done! Tag one to celebrate.
#FunGrowWin