Today marks 8 years without a drink.

In that time, I’ve been dumped and fallen in love. I’ve been fired and built an amazing company. Life has been up and down and insanely beautiful. I am so blessed.

But in case you’re wondering, here’s why I gave up the booze…

The way my mind works is “alcoholic”. I have what we call the “ism”. Realizing this allowed me to change my life.

Through some combination of nature and nurture, genes and conditioning, my brain becomes easily obsessed with anything that makes me feel good.

I groove habits quickly, and I have a hard time breaking them. Couple that with the spiritual angst of a lost teenager and you get a 16-year-old kid who fell in love with drugs and alcohol. I stayed in love until I was 25.

Maybe in the beginning I had a chance at becoming a normal drinker. If only I had moderated better… but I rarely if ever moderate anything, good or bad. I go all out, full force, no holds barred.

I believe that the “ism” is sparked by a lack of spirituality, a disassociation with anything bigger than myself. I focused on the “self” more than the world. I thought everything was happening to me and not for me.

If only the people around me would just follow my directions and conform to my vision for life, we’d all be better off! When that didn’t happen, it led to deep resentment that I only knew how to fix by getting drunk.

Then the craving starts.

Once I have one, I cannot stop. I have no off switch. I crave more until I physically can’t get anymore because I’ve blacked out, run out of money, been arrested, or physically placed somewhere I can’t get the stuff.

And even when I don’t have the immediate craving, I have the obsession of the mind. I think about the booze or the nicotine or the food all the time. I obsess over how I can enjoy it like a normal person without it destroying my life.

The craving and the obsession, driven by the lack of a connection to anything bigger than the self, make me alcoholic. Nothing more, nothing less.

Normal people don’t black out, think “that was so awesome, I can’t wait to do that again,” then think about little else but how to do that again until they wake up a few days later, covered in vomit, and think “I can’t wait to do that again.”

That is Alcoholism.

That is the “ism”, the trick of the mind.

The only way I’ve found that cures that is total abstinence and deep spiritual work. I need to first stop that behavior to arrest the craving and the obsession. Then I need to connect with others and stop focusing on myself.

I need to let go of my resentment that the world isn’t the way I think it should be. I need to humble myself before the beauty and power of the universe. I If I don’t do these things, I will wake up covered in vomit until I don’t wake up.

Over the past 8 years, I’ve met some amazing people that have brains like mine. More often than not, they are the doctors that run your hospitals, the lawyers that defend your cases, the people that build your technology, the educators that work with your children.

Alcoholism and addiction do not discriminate. They take from anyone that gets caught up in that cycle of craving and obsession. They destroy individuals, families, and communities until the real spirit can step in and reconnect the individual with something bigger than the self.

No matter who you are, where you live, or what you have done, there are those out there who would love to help you connect and work through your problems. Myself included.

If I have learned anything, it is that humans are capable of incredible change when we move past the self. When that happens, life remains up and down but becomes insanely beautiful. For that, I am eternally grateful.