Every one of us is afraid of something. Those with rewarding lives know how to face fear and use it to their advantage. But many allow fear to dictate our lives, robbing us of true joy.

Fear is a natural human emotion

Fear serves a positive purpose, but when it becomes irrational, it leads us to make decisions based on fear, not facts. Two fears that controlled my life are

• Fear of failure

• Fear of the unknown

I will show you how I manipulate these fears to drive my desires.

Step 1: Fear of the unknown: Fear sees only the worst-case scenario.

1. Identify what your fear is and write it down. Is it real and has damaging effects, or is it imagined with no basis in reality?

2. Make a list of all the positive outcomes of making a choice.

3. Which one gives you the best opportunity for growth and fulfillment?

Fear of the unknown led to my biggest regret, not going away to college.

Step 2: Fear of failure: Society says that to fail is to be a loser, keeping us from trying new things and taking risks. Mistakes are a part of life and teach us what works and doesn't and how we can improve.

1. Identify who/what you are failing: yourself or someone else. Is the world going to fall apart?

2. What can happen if you succeed?

3. What can I learn from the experience?

My fear of not being good enough kept me from becoming a writer for 40 years. When I began writing in public, was when I started to grow as a writer.

Channeling fear: Fear is vital in keeping us safe and can cause more harm than good. Learning how to manage fear allows you to control your life choices.