Tmann

Every one of us is afraid of something. Those with rewarding lives know how to face fear and use it to their advantage. But many allow fear to dictate our lives, robbing us of true joy.

Fear is a natural human emotion

Fear serves a positive purpose, but when it becomes irrational, it leads us to make decisions based on fear, not facts. Two fears that controlled my life are

• Fear of failure

• Fear of the unknown

I will show you how I manipulate these fears to drive my desires.

Step 1: Fear of the unknown: Fear sees only the worst-case scenario.

1. Identify what your fear is and write it down. Is it real and has damaging effects, or is it imagined with no basis in reality?

2. Make a list of all the positive outcomes of making a choice.

3. Which one gives you the best opportunity for growth and fulfillment?

Fear of the unknown led to my biggest regret, not going away to college.

Step 2: Fear of failure: Society says that to fail is to be a loser, keeping us from trying new things and taking risks. Mistakes are a part of life and teach us what works and doesn't and how we can improve.

1. Identify who/what you are failing: yourself or someone else. Is the world going to fall apart?

2. What can happen if you succeed?

3. What can I learn from the experience?

My fear of not being good enough kept me from becoming a writer for 40 years. When I began writing in public, was when I started to grow as a writer.

Channeling fear: Fear is vital in keeping us safe and can cause more harm than good. Learning how to manage fear allows you to control your life choices.

Every one of us is afraid of something. But those with rewarding lives know how to face their fear and use it to their advantage. Unfortunately, many allow fear to dictate our lives, robbing us of true joy and excitement.

Fear is a natural human emotion

Fear serves many positive purposes in our lives. But irrational fears envelop and lead us to make decisions based on fear, not facts. Here are two fears that, for decades, kept me from following my dreams and living an extraordinary life.

• Fear of failure

• Fear of the unknown

I will show you how I manipulate these fears to drive my desires.

Step 1: Fear of the unknown: Fear sees only the worst-case scenario.

1. Identify what your fear is and write it down. Is it real and has damaging effects, or is it imagined with no basis in reality?

2. Make a list of all the positive outcomes of making a choice.

3. Which one gives you the best opportunity for growth and fulfillment?

I didn't go to college because I was afraid of the unknown. I failed to see how the experience would help me grow. This is a decision I regret to this day.

Step 2: Fear of failure: Society tells us that to fail at something is to be a loser, Keeping us from trying new things and challenging us to take risks. Mistakes are a part of life and teach us what works and doesn't and how we can improve.

1. Identify who/what you are failing: yourself or someone else. Is the world going to fall apart?

2. What can happen if you succeed?

3. What can I learn from the experience?

My fear of not being good enough kept me from becoming a writer for 40 years. When I began writing in public, I started growing as a writer.

Channeling fear: Fear is vital in keeping us safe and can cause more harm than good. Learning how to manage fear allows you to control your life choices.

My battle with schedules and time management left me stressed, anxious, and feeling like a failure.

Don't get me wrong, organization and schedules are incredible assets when they work, but when we get overwhelmed, our progress grinds to a halt.

I realized I was self-imposing stress on my life. Not everything can or should be managed. When I accepted this, a weight was lifted.

Once I identified the 4 areas I was creating pressure on myself, I took 4 counter steps to alleviate the stress and began enjoying my days again.

1. Saying yes when I should say no

I remind myself that I am not Wonderwoman, and it ok to say no. It is not the end of the world for any of us.

2. Letting things go till the last minute

I now expect interruptions, and I start my project sooner and set an earlier deadline. I am a stickler for any deadline, even self-imposed.

3. Managing my schedule

Now I schedule time for "non-essential, yet essential" tasks: phone calls with friends, a cup of tea, or reading time is now given space in my day.

4. Not giving myself time to recharge

I give myself time off. I accept that I deserve a day of no commitments, and I prioritize getting a good night's sleep.

Gasping to breathe and hooked up to monitors, my husband lies in the hospital.

This past week, my big strong husband came down with Covid. He is vaccinated, and this is his second bout with it, so in all honesty, I wasn't worried. But after a few days, he was dizzy, had a fever, and had difficulty catching his breath, and we headed to the closest ER.

It is hard to be strong when you are falling apart inside.

The ER is a lonely, sterile place, and as he was trying to rest, I scrolled through my phone as a distraction when I came upon my Twitter account. The internet's anonymity and immediacy allowed me to express what I felt, and I quickly typed out a tweet.

Through the wonder of the internet, I quickly got notifications from across the world. People I only speak with through tweets were sending positive vibes, prayers, well wishes, and concern for my husband and myself.

As the night wore on, the medical staff gave him oxygen, monitored his heart, and thought he had a blood clot, but hours later, tests showed it was Pneumonia. For the next 36 hours, life beyond my husband's needs didn't exist.

Twitter notifications helped me to remain positive.

I believe in the power of prayer and I can't help but think that all the kindness, support, and encouragement we received during this ordeal reached God's ears. He is now home recovering.

Knowing strangers were thinking of us during this time is a comfort I can not measure. We will never forget their kindness.

6 of the BEST steps to accomplishing your goal I have found to be successful.

Have you ever wanted to do something so desperately but you had no idea where to begin? Sort of like when you dump out a 1,000-piece puzzle.

Where to start? Pieces are everywhere, upside down, on the floor, under your coffee cup.

"I know what I want to do but how do I get there?"

Your goal is doable, just like the puzzle. You just have to know where to begin.

Step 1. Get a visual:

Get a picture of your goal and put it in plain sight. Whatever it is you want to accomplish you need to be specific and visualize it. Vision boards are a great tool for this.

Step 2. Gather all your pieces and put them in clear view.

All goals have pieces and parts. Make a list, gather tools, read, whatever parts necessary to make your goal, you need to identify them and have them available.

Step 3. Pull out all the edge pieces.

Like a puzzle, any plan needs a proper framework/foundation. Think about how to clearly identify your goal and what shape it will take.

Build your foundation to clearly frame your objectives.

Step 4. Sort the pieces according to patterns and subject matter as they relate to the big picture.

The final goal is made by delivering on many smaller goals, each identifying a specific component of the end product.

Step 5. Look into each pile of pieces and start with the easiest.

Each time you accomplish a smaller goal you are learning and growing towards the next challenge.

Start small and build your way up.

Step 6. Keep your eye on the big picture.

Never lose sight of your goal. Each day tackle a little bit more and day by day the picture will become clearer and clearer.

Before you know it your goal will become reality.

If you found this helpful, go back to the top and bookmark & share it with others. And don't forget to follow me at

@TrishM54

#success #goalsetting #mindset #personalgrowth

Does the idea of dating again scare you?

I know how you feel. After my 25-year relationship ended, I had to start dating again and was terrified. I wondered:

Can I trust them? Can I let myself love again?

Through my experience, I discovered a litmus test for prospective partners that helped me find love again.

#1: Integrity

How a person behaves when no one is watching indicates the level of integrity they have. If they act with honesty, kindness, and a strong sense of responsibility in all aspects of their life, it is a strong indicator of how they will treat you.

#2: Family matters 

I soon insisted on meeting my now husband's family. Here, I witnessed the strong devotion he has towards family and his belief system. How someone is with their immediate family is a window to how they act when there is no pressure.

#3: Change is not inevitable.

The dirty socks on the living room floor will still be there ten years from now. Your love will not change them no matter how much you think it will.

#4: Baggage comes in all sizes and shapes

We all have entanglements as part of the deal. Accept it and realize you also bring baggage.

#5: Have common interests

You must be able to spend time together and enjoy doing the same things. The first picture I saw of my husband was with his dad at a baseball game. This checked two of my boxes right away.

Life is full of adventure, but dating shouldn't be one of them

It is hard, but you can find happiness the second time around when applying these tests.

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What are you looking for in a partner: attractiveness, sense of humor, chemistry?

Is this what we should be chasing? Sure, these traits look good on paper, but life gets routine. Kids need attention, and bills are piling up. The car won't start. Are you laughing now?

Life is messy and hard, amazing and crazy, and through it all, you deserve someone who has integrity above anything else.

Integrity is a measure of how someone behaves when no one is looking.

It is helping a stranger cross the road or honoring commitments when they would instead do something else. It is living a life of ethics and value to others and the world around them.

The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.—Bob Marley

Integrity reveals itself in other character traits.

1. Honesty

2. Respect

3. Responsibility

A person who regularly demonstrates integrity increases their value in a relationship.

Upon meeting my now-husband, I realized he has maintained close relationships with people for decades. He despises letting others down and is the first to volunteer to help someone. He crawls under cars to rescue baby ducks and will buy a stranger a meal.

He is trustworthy and moral, and these exceptional traits are evident in our relationship because of his integrity. He doesn't do things for glory but because he cares about me and others above himself.

How a person treats others is ultimately how they will treat you.

Sunday, March 20th, I took a hit. I am still reeling from today.

The Cleveland Browns announced acquiring DeShaun Watson, the estranged Houston Texans quarterback, and betrayed a legion of fans in as they sold their soul for a "Win."

Browns fans epitomize loyalty, respect, and character

For decades the Cleveland Browns have been the brunt of jokes across the NFL.

Sure, Browns fans want a winning team and a ring, but we realize that love of the sport and the team transcends the trophies: our franchise was taken from us, we had more losing seasons than possible, and until recently, teams always took us as an easy win.

But the fans set the Browns apart. Known as the most loyal fans in football, we stood by a franchise that struggled on and off the field and honored our players. We know where football began and where it deserves to be played.

Owners sell out the fans for the glory of a win.

DeShaun Watson faces 22 civil lawsuits for allegations of sexual misconduct and remains under investigation by the NFL. He bailed on his last team and remains a highly controversial player.

For the Browns to get Watson, they threw our current quarterback under the bus after playing his heart out all season with a torn labrum, gave up three first-round draft picks, a third and fourth-round pick, and $230 million!

What the future holds?

I don't know DeShaun's character, but I know Baker's. A man that fights for his team tooth and nail and rallies his teammates to fight for a win. Cleveland bet the bank on a question mark.

Are you too old for a tattoo?

Getting a tattoo at any age comes with risks and rewards that should be considered before taking the plunge.

Over time, the idea of tattoos has evolved. Otzi the Iceman, whose preserved body from around 3000 B.C., and discovered in 1991, is the oldest documented tattoo. Over the years, body art has been both idolized and despised. However, in the last couple of decades, it has had a resurgence, and is acceptable and appreciated across the spectrums of culture and society.

Making an informed decision.

Cons of getting a tattoo when you are older.

Unfortunately, getting older comes with a few downsides.

As we age, our skin becomes softer and less elastic. This can cause a tattoo to damage your skin and prone to bleeding. The artist can have difficulty tattooing older skin, and the final look can have a smudged appearance, known as "blowout" phenomenon.

Pros of being inked at middle age.

Having some years on us can be beneficial when getting a tattoo.

Thanks to our skin aging, our tattoos will not fade and still look good for years to come. We are established in our careers or enjoying the retirement years and have flexibility in our appearances. A tattoo allows us to make a statement about what matters to us.

Why you should get a tattoo

Life is flying by way too fast. It is time to live the life you want, not what your family, friends, or your boss want. Get that tattoo today. I am!