Nadia Adan

How do you greet people?

I think it’s so interesting to learn how different cultures and personalities feel so strongly about how we greet people.

I’m Spanish, and I’m a giver so when I meet you I’ll likely greet you with a hug. Hug - an act of holding someone tightly in one's arms, typically to express affection.

There are studies that show hugs are actually good for our health:

• Hugging helps lower our stress throughout the day.

• Hugs can also give our immune system a healthy boost.

• Hugs might even lower heart rates and blood pressure.

• A few good squeezes could lead to decreased depression.

So I’ll stand by my hugs as my go to greeting.

Unless I know you don’t like hugs - I’m not here to make you uncomfortable.

Today I went into the London office for the first time this year. The officer cleaner was there, we looked at each other and both smiled. I went over, arms wide and gave her a big hug. She hugged me back, but what she said after surprised me.

“Nadia, that’s a real hug, I could feel your love and energy through that hug, thank you, it doesn’t happen often”

What’s my take away - if you do something, do it well, and do it with intention.

Whether you’re shaking someone’s hand, giving them a wave, hugging or sharing a kiss, put in the effort and do it with meaning.

Our authenticity makes a difference, it impacts our lives and those around us.

I am an over thinker. Especially when it comes to my love life.

I know I am, and I know when I'm over thinking, and although I try to control the thoughts, they take on a life of their own.

My thoughts are very creative, I've lived several versions of my own life thanks to my over thinking and the stories I've created all on my own.

The other day my friend asked me "So what's the story are you overthinking about now?"

I was confused - I haven't mentioned anything about over thinking or the guy in some time. How did she know?

Turns out that my sudden quiet period on not speaking about this guy was the tell tale sign of my overthinking - who knew?!

I shared all my thoughts, my stories and my various conclusions I'd thought up.

We both laughed.

We laughed because the reality I am living is not at all aligned with the stories my over thinking creates. Lately I've been more conscious of my over thinking ways, and I'm trying to go more with the flow.

These actions are helping me on my way to flowing:

• Talking and sharing - Letting things out in the open usually stops my spiralling over thinking mind from going into over drive as when I speak out loud I realise how much of what my mind has created just doesn't exist. Also letting the other person know what is concerning you, gives them the opportunity to address it.

• Writing - this right now, if helpful. Acknowledging that I'm an over thinker is helpful. Sharing is helpful. Knowing that I'm not alone in my over thinking is helpful.

• Not living in the past - Just because something happened in the past, it does not mean it will be repeated now. I am different, and the person in front of me is different. History does not always repeat itself.

• Sleeping on it - I can spend most of the day building up a story in my head that just makes no sense the following day. So I'm sleeping on things before I act on them.

• Accepting the unknown - I do not need to, nor do I want to control everything, it's great to experience and live life to the fullest and that means accepting life as it comes, with all it's up, and downs.

I'm riding the wave and I'm flowing.
With just a little over thinking to keep me on my toes.

I choose to live a positive life.

• This doesn't mean I'm always happy.

• This doesn't mean I'm always smiling.

• And this certainly doesn't mean I'm always available to lift up everyones spirits.

Life can be hard and keeping positive can be a challenge. Especially when it's the attitude that is expected of you.

Here's a reminder to all the positive people reading this - being positive does not mean you are always happy, and that's okay.

To me being positive doesn't mean I'm always smiling, it means I'm conscious about the way I act and react in moments of my life. It is a reflection of the way I have chosen to navigate life.

What positivity looks like to me:

• You look for learning opportunities - I believe every experience we live teaches us something and sets us up for future experiences. As a positive person, I look for these opportunities at all times as they lead to growth.

• You know it will be okay - I know that I have survived every single thing that I've faced, and I will continue to do so. It's true that sometimes the storm clears our path.

• You don't dwell on the negative moments - As I say "it's not all sunshine and rainbows" but it's also not all dark clouds and bad times. Hard moments lead to growth, so use the lesson and keep moving forward.

• You share your feelings and frustrations - I've found that keeping things inside usually leads to overthinking - not helpful for anyone involved. Sharing my feelings and my frustrations allows for more clarity, which usually leads to better decisions being made, in a more efficient way.

• You are grateful and say thank you - Even during challenging times, there's something to be grateful for, don't lose sight of it. It may be your lifeline. And when you can, say thank you - two words that are so powerful they can change the way you navigate your personal journey.

Nothing is ever as good, or as bad as it seems, and nothing lasts forever.

Habit - a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.

Over the last 30 days I have created a writing habit, actually beyond that I've created a sharing habit.

I have embraced my vulnerability, my experiences and my passion for writing, I've jumped abroad and sailing the unknown, sharing through writing.

I'm not sure where the journey will take me, but for now I will continue to embrace the unknown and enjoy the ride.

A moment of reflection

• Personal experiences can inspire and support others, share them.

• Community matters and it makes a difference, use yours.

• Being uncomfortable usually leads to growth, push yourself.

• Writing is a great way to process thoughts and achieve clarity, try it.

• Perfection doesn’t matter (does it even exist), take the leap.

• You won’t be inspired everyday, but you still have something to share, don’t hold yourself back.

• Celebrating your own work and your success is just as important as celebrating others, go you!

A moment of gratitude

• I'm grateful for you, thank you for reading my pieces, thank you for sharing feedback and thank you for pushing me to keep sharing.

• I'm grateful I trusted myself enough to take this leap and just "do it", I'm really proud of where I am today!

• I'm grateful for all my life experiences that have allowed me to be me and that are preparing me for that is to come.

I've created a habit, and I'm excited to see where it takes me.

When you are used to having a plan in life and living within a degree of certainty on what's coming next, uncertainty and continuing a path to the unknown can be daunting.

This week, I was getting unusually frustrated during my therapy session, I didn't know why exactly but I knew that the more I spoke, the more frustrated I was getting.

My therapist looked at me straight in the eyes and said "Nadia, it's okay to embrace the unknown"

This caught me a little by surprise, I haven't realised that I was living in my own unknown, and that I wasn't comfortable in that space.

I've survived the unknown before. But at the moment a lot of important aspects of my life are unclear, I truly don't know what life will look like in 3 months time.

So for now, I'm working on acknowledging the unknown and becoming okay growing in that space.

I am trusting the process.

The unknown can be beautiful and I'm personally looking forward to what's to come, whatever it is - I'll make the most of it.

I read yesterday that you have to risk heartbreak to find love. And this made my smile inside and out.

If you've read some of my pieces, you'll know that I've lived through heartbreak, real aching heart, broken pieces, tears that feel like they are choking you, heartbreak.

But hey!

I survived.

And, I have a lot of love to give, and I want to give it.

I know it's a risk, but I'm prepared to take that risk, because I know there's someone out there who make my heart feel so full. That I'll think wow, the broken pieces were actually just my heart being rearranged to receive the same amount love I have to give.

I have no doubt about this because:

• I am in a position where I love myself. I enjoy my company and I am happy on my journey. My relationship with myself is healthy and I will no longer depend on someone to make me feel loved.

• I have learnt from my past experiences, and no, they are not mistakes, they are lessons. I know what I want, and maybe more importantly, I know what I will no longer accept in a relationship. My past relationships do not define me, they have allowed me to prepare for my future one.

• My belief that trust is absolutely key in a relationship has been reinforced through my life experiences. However I will trust someone until they give me a reason not to. I know 100% that I will build my relationship based on a foundation of trust, and if my gut feeling doesn't feel that, I will trust myself and move on.

• I am not looking for someone to make me happy. I know that my happiness depends on me and I will never put this responsibility on someone else. I want someone to share happiness with.

• The difference between wanting something and needing something has become so clear to me. I want to share my life with someone, I do not need to share my life with anyone. So, I'm in no rush to settle for someone who doesn't feel right.

I know the journey to find love has it's risks, but I also know it's worth it. Love is the most magical feeling there is.

And, I love magic.

Communication is the imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium.

When you feel good, show it

Jump for joy, smile your widest smile, squeeze your best people, sing your favourite song, dance and show your moves.

When you feel not so good, show it

Take some time out, let some tears out, hold onto your best people, play the sad songs, reflect and acknowledge the moment.

Four reasons I work on communication:

• Clear your own mind: It's amazing how much we keep inside, overthinking and generally making up our own stories which are rarely based on facts. I've found that communicating allows me to release these thoughts and control my tendency to overthink.

• Let people know what you expect: Sometimes I forget that people cannot read my mind :) So if I'm not clear in communication my expectations, how can expect what to that person is unknown? Whether it be in a relationship or at work, I want to be sure that I've done everything in my power to share my expectations so that no one can ever say "well I didn't know that".

• Reach a compromise: When you show your willingness and commitment to good communication, it's likely that the person you are communicating with will follow suit. This will allow you both to have an honest conversation and should lead to the most reasonable compromise being met, when needed.

• Share your feelings: By sharing you are not only let people know what you want, you are opening your door to support, advice and ideas that you may not have received if you had not communicated. By sharing, you may inspire someone else who really needs it to open up.

There are many forms of communication - writing, speaking, listening, expression, art - actually any way you can think of to express a message is communication, and not all forms of communication will be ideal for everyone.

Take the time to identify how you best communicate, and then spend time mastering your form. When you can communicate clearly, life will become that little bit easier.

It’s not always easy, but it always gets better, feel your feelings and show your feelings.

Ride the wave and keep shining.

PS. Over communication can sometimes do more harm than good, find your vibe and run with it, but be conscious of your communication and it's impact on others.

Today's essay is dedicated to my best friend who is celebrating her 30th birthday!

Sam, you are magic.

I admire you, your way of looking at life and the way you live your life.

You are an inspiration to so many people, including me and I want to thank you for that.

I hope you know that you mean so much to so many people.

Thank you for being a constant in my life, thank you for pushing me to be my best self and for standing by me through the tougher times.

Thank you for making me laugh until I cry, thank you for being silly with me, thank you for listening to me and for exploring the world with me.

Thank you for loving me.

I cannot wait to see what comes for the amazing Penguin couple. You deserve nothing but the best, and I know you will get it.

Happy birthday, bestie!

May you keep shining your light across the world, and being your best self for all of your years.

I love you and I'm so grateful for you.

Sam, you rock.

It's all or nothing, and you are everything! tehehehehe

Reminder: Everyone is living their own journey, in their own way.

Reminder: Every person has their own battles and their own way of dealing with them.

We are exposed to a small snippet of a persons life. I would even go as far as to say we are exposed to a small snippet of our own lives!

Life is moving, every day we wake up and we have to "tackle" the day ahead, we navigate through planned and unplanned moments and just keep moving.

It's so easy, especially these days with social media, to get caught up in judging people, or comparing yourself to others.

Four reminders to myself when I start comparing myself or or judging people:

• They are not living my life: We are all on our own journey, and we each have good and less good things that shape us. I'm very proud of the person I am and it's likely I wouldn't be this person had I not had challenges along the road.

• Their overall journey is not mine: I tend to compare myself when I see people on amazing trips, but then I remind myself that one amazing trip isn't a reflection of that persons whole life. And instead of feeling sorry for myself I change my own narrative and feel happy for that person and their adventure.

• I can do the same if I really wanted to: If I see something that sparks jealously or judgement in me, I take a moment to consider why I have this feeling. If I'm jealous because I want to do whatever it is I've seen, I consider why I haven't done it and then make a plan to get there!

• I don't truly know this person: Most days I'm learning about myself, and if I'm still learning about myself, I most definitely don't have a good gauge on someone else life so comparisons and judgement are really wasted energy.

Follow people who inspire you through their journey, not people who bring out envy or negative judgement in you.

The right kind of jealously may actually not be a bad thing, it may push you to do things that will bring you joy and foster growth while you continue on your own journey.

And judging people, well that's a waste of your own energy!

Keep shining.

My best friend and I were inseparable through our school years.

We then went to university and continued to be very close. When I graduated I moved into her ROOM and we shared a room for a little under a year.

When we were 21 we took a 3 month backing trip around South America (very recommended). My younger brother genuinely thought he had two sisters. We’d shared a lot together and basically grew up together.

I then moved away and started my career, I fell in love and over time we just drifted apart.

We didn’t have a huge argument, there wasn’t drama, there just was a distance that neither of us felt was important enough to be closed.

I believe that everyone plays a role in our journey and this girl felt like my soul sister growing up.

Then, we were on completely different paths and we just didn’t understand each other and the journeys we were on anymore.

It wasn’t bad, it just was.

Fast forward 6 years later, we were both invited to a mutual friends wedding, we laughed and we danced the night away, it was great to see her happy in her life.

Fast forward another year to the present. We are in Split, Croatia, celebrating our mutual best friends 30th birthday and the joy and the love has been following all weekend and my heart couldn’t be happier.

Life is a cycle, people come and go, and some come back.

When people do leave my life, I aim to do it with the least drama possible.

Let them go, forgive them, wish them the best and forgive yourself. You never know if that person will be a part of a future chapter in your life.

Keep shining

Life is all about your approach and the decisions you choose to take.

Sometimes it’s necessary to take a step back, to see the bigger picture. I find that in most occasions I'm surprised by a more beautiful picture.

In moments that aren’t sunshine in my life, I make a conscious effort to stop and reflect. I do this in order to gain perspective on the situation I’m facing and fully understand the challenge I have ahead.

Taking time to do this gives me the opportunity and the space to regroup my thoughts and consider all my options with a more clear and calm mind before I make any decisions.

I also find it helpful to reflect in the great times. I love to do this because it really allows me to stop the speed of life and appreciate the moment I’m living. The appreciation makes the moment that extra bit more special and ensures I am processing what I am living.

Nothing is ever as good, or as bad as it seems, and nothing lasts forever.

I really encourage reflection in order to gain perspective to allow you to take more informed decisions as you navigate your personal journey.

They say we are a reflection of the five people we spend the most time with.

This is HUGE!

There are so many articles written on healthy romantic relationships, but what about friendships? They are just as, if not more, important than romantic relationships.

Take a moment to reflect what you value in a relationship and think about whether your friends are meeting your standard. Note: you should also meet your own standards as a friend too.

Four Values I Look for in Friendships:

• Loyalty: When you think loyalty, the mind automatically takes you to a romantic relationship, but your friends should also be loyal. Trust is the basis of all relationships, if you can't trust your friend, there is no foundation and it's likely not a true friendship.

• Growth: It's beautiful to look back and see how much you and your friends have grown, together. Friends should be your biggest supporters, pushing you to continue being your best self every step of your journey.
  Friends should encouraging you to take that trip, take that job and hug away any suffering you may have.

• Support: Yes, everyone is busy on their own journey. Remember we also need support from time to time, and if you can't turn to your friends, who can you turn to?
  You should be able to pick up the phone without thinking twice about it and reach out for the support you need at that time.

• Peace: Your friends should bring peace to your life, peace of mind and overall calm. If you are surround by drama (first check yourself) and then check your friends. Seek calm and genuine relationships.

I'm lucky to have pretty great friends and I would be proud to be a reflection of any of them!

What do reflection do your friends have on you?

I'm 31 and I feel I've lived at least four different lives to date.

No, I'm not a time traveller, or here to save the world like Evelyn in Everything Everywhere All at Once (although wouldn't that be cool) jumping from one life to another. It's simply me growing up through different defined chapters of my life, all leading to the current me.

Personally I think this is awesome, my past chapters have allowed me to learn and have set me up for what's to come.

5 tips to ensure you are embracing all your chapters:

• Don't live in the past: Yes, the past is important, it shaped the person you are today. Past experiences and past lessons taught you so much. Take those forward, but don't stay stuck living a life that is no longer yours. Embrace the current you and keep moving, living the present.

• Don't live in the future: Don't get too caught up either, and don't race through life. We are all on a journey. Embrace the current you and all the things you currently have to enjoy.

• People come and go: They come and go, sometimes they return and sometimes they never leave. All of these are okay and completely natural. I've found that every important person in my life has taught me something that I take to my next chapter. I'm grateful for all the people who have gone and who have stayed, and I'm grateful that I know when to let go.

• You are where you are supposed to be: Nothing that is meant for you will pass you by. Obviously you need to work in order to achieve what you want, you can't seclude yourself and expect [insert anything you want] to land in your lap. But trust the process, and trust the universe, ask and take action, good things are coming.

• Smile: My favourite quote that has been with me through all my chapters as long as I have had my own reasoning, "smile and the world smiles with you". I still find this to be true.

While I do live in the present and enjoy the magic that surrounds me and the amazing people I have in my life. I'm excited for my future chapters and all the cool things future me will continue to experience.

How many lives have you lived?

It's okay not to be okay, all the time.

I'm a naturally positive person, I have been told on several occasions that I radiate light and good vibes and mostly I see the good in everything and embrace a very positive lifestyle.

But sometimes, granted it's rarely, that all goes out the window and I don't feel like shining, I just feel blah.

This is a very human reaction, I think.

We cannot always be on top form, we cannot always be happy and smiling because at the end of the day, life isn't that way.

So today, I'm simply reminding myself, and you, that it's okay not to be okay, all the time.

It's okay to take time out, decompress and then get back to shining, even brighter.

I'm 31 and I've decided I'm going to freeze my eggs.

Why?

• I know I want to have children

• I don't currently have a partner, this is plan B incase he appears once my eggs aren't performing as they should be

• Even if I did have a partner now, I don't feel I want to start a family right away

• As part of my work benefits, egg freezing is covered, so the financial burden is covered, which is very helpful

• If (hopefully) I never have to use them I will donate them to science or to be used by someone who struggles with ovulation.

What I know so far:

I've completely avoided scientific vocabulary with the intention to help people like me who are interested in freezing their own eggs.

General overview:

• As a woman, you are born with a set amount of eggs that will last your lifetime, these are held my the body in storage

• Once puberty starts you you start having a period, this is ovulation. Your body is starting to release X number of eggs from storage to your ovaries on a monthly basis

• When you are younger the body releases more eggs than when you are older. As the storage empties the body releases less eggs so that they last for longer

• As you age, the quality of your eggs also decreases, so freezing allows you to capture the current quality of your eggs, regardless of when they will be fertilised

• On a monthly basis you have several eggs in your ovaries (this really varies per woman) and your hormones work to ovulate one egg (the others "die" and one grows in size)

• Once it's reached a good size, your body releases the chosen egg from your ovary to the fallopian tube, here it wait to be fertilised (if this is success you are pregnant). If there is no fertilisation this egg also dies and this is what creates a period

• In Spain, I can store my eggs for up to 10 years, this varies per country

The Freezing Process, Part One:

• During a period of 8-14 days you have to inject yourself with hormones (injection is similar to the needles used for insulin), this is in order to allow for more eggs to be ovulation ready

• Exercise and sexual intercourse are strongly discouraged while you are administering hormones

• You will have to have several check ups during this time in order for the doctor to check your reaction to the hormones. Side effects include - bloating, emotional, cramps, tired.

• At this point the doctor will know and be able to tell you how many eggs they expect to retrieve during the operation. More eggs are better as not all eggs are guaranteed to thaw without damaging the cell

• The operation will be scheduled before your body releases the eggs from the ovaries.

The Freezing Process, Part Two:

At this stage there are many eggs ready for ovulation (again the number depends per woman) Operation time:

• I have been told that the procedure lasts around 30 minutes

• You are under general anaesthetic in order to avoid uncomfortable situations, it's been explained to me as taking a nap

• There is no incision, the operation you undergo an ultrasound-guided surgical procedure to retrieve the eggs

• Wake up and go home, I have been advised to take the day off work.

This is by no means a replacement of seeing an official doctor.
I am not a medical person, just a girl freezing her eggs and learning along the way.

I decided to share this incase it helps anyone else, through my work benefit I received a lot of support researching and educating myself on the topic, but I know a lot of people do not have this access and I personally don't feel we speak a lot about the process.

I will write a follow up once I'm further along the process and have more learnings.

Healing "the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again."

Healing really is a process and depending on how you approach the situation the process can be longer or shorter for you. I 100% believe that everyone must heal in their own way, each persons journey is unique.

I found these 5 activities extremely helpful on my healing process as they allowed me to acknowledge and process my pain while healing.

5 activities you can do when healing from [insert your reason to heal]:

• Writing: I found three forms of writing especially helpful for me during my time of healing.

  • Journaling - I created a habit of journalling on a daily basis, a flow of conscious if you will. This allowed me to release my mind and also consciously acknowledge my thoughts and feelings and how they progressed with me.

  • Letters - I wrote everything I felt in a letter to me ex. I mean everything, the good parts, the disappointment and all the feelings. I got it all down on paper and released it from my heart and from my mind. I personally choose to send it to him, but you can also keep it for yourself.

  • Reflective gratitude - I started a secret Instagram and posted often, it was an outlet for my writing

• Reading: I enjoy reading generally, however while in my period of healing I consumed more books. Reading became an escape from my life. Allowing myself to be fully captured by the writing gave my mind a break from the overthinking I tend to do.

• Meditation: I started meditating soon after my breakup, at the beginning of the pandemic. It became a moment I looked forward to, a moment of real disconnection and inner peace.

• Workouts: From yoga to HIIT workouts, physical exercise was another way to keep my mind away from over thinking. I also felt good in my body which is huge plus when your heart is sad. Top tip: when practising yoga I would inhale happiness, calm and strength and exhale him. Sounds silly, but it worked for me!

• Connecting with friends: In moments of struggle you tend to see who your most special friends are, the people that show up and tell you it's going to be okay, they are with you every step of the way. I became closer with a small group of friends and focused my energy on those invaluable relationships.

All of the above points pushed me to become a truer, better version of myself.

To be clear, I do not regret anything I have lived, I experienced amazing moments and would never wish I hadn't spent my time with him. However, I will also not dwell on the past and I'm truly happy I am no longer on that life path.

I choose to focus on my personal development in order to grow into the person I want to be in the future.

How do you heal?

I started 2020 engaged to a person I truly believed I would spend the rest of my life with. I had big plans for 2020. I was planning on ending a long distance relationship by moving back to Lima, getting married, settling down and starting my family. I was 28 at the time, and had visioned my whole life, all planned out.

The universe had different plans for me, and for us all.

I found two pieces I wrote in March 2020. I was in a tough moment of unexpected change, and I was hurting - engagement broken off, and the world closed down.

Yet, today my heart smiled when I looked back on these pieces. Despite the pain I know I was feeling, and the crazy unknown of what we all lived through, my words reflect gratitude, hope and love.

London, 26th March 2020 - "I’ve never seen my street so empty. It’s a surreal feeling, and a little bit scary.

Tonight, we were all encouraged to show our appreciation (from our homes) to those who don’t have the option to stay at home during this time. To the healthcare workers, those stacking shelves, the police force, transport workers... thank you. ❤️ I have so many moments during the day where I’ve caught myself thinking, “is this really happening?” the answer is always “yes” and it’s usually followed by a feeling that resembles something like this 🤯... Thank you also to all my friends who have checked in with me everyday, I’m so grateful. Even apart, I feel we’re more united than ever. Remember, now more than ever, to tell your people that you love them.

Os quiero mucho"

London, 28th March 2020 - "So much has changed since I took this picture in New York one year ago (to the day). So much more than I could have ever imagined or guessed while I captured this moment

The world is hurting now. We are all living something unknown. The streets are empty, even in the city that never sleeps 💔
Stay home, but stay connected, we need each other

Keep dreaming and keep smiling, we will be okay ❤️"

Through the toughest moments for me personally, and for society, I am so proud of my past me.

She faced her pain head on and choose gratitude and love above anything else. She took the first step on a wild journey of self growth and embraced the change she faced.

I am truly proud of the person I see staring back at me in the mirror. I hope I never lose the ability to see the good and choose love, even on the tough days.

Looking back allows me to appreciate how much I have grown and reminds me of my strength.

Creating a habit [a usual way of behaving: something that a person does often in a regular and repeated way.] is not easy.

I'm in the process of creating a habit of writing and honestly, it's hard.

Life gets in the way, inspiration doesn't show up, doubt does show up and time does not wait for the perfect moment.

No inspiration, mixed with self doubt, is a recipe for disaster.

But, I made a commitment. So here I am showing up for myself and just being honest with my struggles and fears and writing something.

Four reminders to keep me going:

• Remind myself why I committed: I committed to [insert habit] for a reason. It's helpful to take a quick moment to remember why, and remember how it makes me feel once I've completed the daily task.

• Start: Baby steps, once I start, ideas flow. And although I may not think they are groundbreaking, they are something.

• It doesn't have to be perfect: Friendly reminder to myself to stop seeking perfection. I don't live a perfect life, why would my writing be perfect? I want my writing to be a reflection of myself, not something that doesn't exist.

• Tomorrow is another day: The inspiration will return and the doubt disappear, how I'm feeling today will not be how I'm feeling tomorrow. I look forward to the ideas I still have to dream up.

How do you keep your commitment to your habits when you simply don't feel like it?