Harmony Dixon

1. Shoot your shot. Like that time you showed up at a roller derby practice in your twenties without tattoo sleeves or the ability to roller skate, but you called yourself Cinnamon American and made the team—like a freaking badass! Playing it safe is the real risk. You risk losing yourself, never achieving your dreams, and never evolving. shudders “It’s safe to dream big. You’re meant for epic shit.”—Erica Reitman, founder of The Icon Agency.

2. Be tenacious, like a pit bull. When your ol’ corporate manager called you tenacious like a pit bull, you took offense, but it was a compliment! All those dreams withering away under the seat of your Pontiac next to a half-eaten PB&J are possible if you’re determined. To be tenacious is persisting in existence, and if we’re not in pursuit of life, aren’t we just roadkill? Pee-yew.

3. College isn’t the only path. You hemmed and hawed over going to cosmetology and culinary school and wondered if a writing degree would give you the validation to be a writer. Did you really want to weed whack bikini lines or stink like soup for eternity? Nope. You wanted to be a writer, though, and it turns out the only piece of paper that makes you a writer is the one you write yourself. Do what interests you and forge a path to enjoyable work; degrees be damned.

4. Embrace authenticity. When you were ten, a Virginia Slims-smoking dung beetle whispered that you looked like a hooker in your favorite pink halter top. The HR lady farted the idea into your psyche that you were too much (and that your cleavage distracted the accountants). So, honey, you shrunk yourself into a flaccid cactus so your boss would take you seriously. He didn’t. Take up space, be yourself, and wear the red lipstick. You are exactly enough for the career you truly desire.

5. Know your value. Asking for money can be a filthy, shameful business, but that’s only because you think it is. You are worth the kind of money you want to make, and it’s a disservice to everyone when you lowball yourself into the struggle swamp, where high-interest credit cards thrive, and dreams go to die. It’s hard to be creative when you don’t know how to pay for that mole biopsy your insurance didn’t cover. 

6. Rejection leads to success. Your elementary school crush, who looked exactly like Harry Potter, snubbed you and shoved you in gym class during “ships across the ocean,” fracturing your arm. An uncomfortable no, but one broken heart lead to eight bazillion other cuttlefish in the swamp. If you shoot your shot doing what you love with tenacity and authenticity and ask for what you deserve only to receive a lukewarm “GET OFF MY LAWN,” that’s a good thing. That opportunity wasn’t epic enough for you, darlin’. You’ll be happier when the yes comes on your terms.

7. Your unique skills are in demand. Your days as a freelance vibrator saleswoman may be over, but your experience educating women on pleasure, mated with your sales psychology training, and your wicked creative writing skills make you in demand for companies that want to be growers on the internet. You are an enigma, and nobody is exactly like you. Your life experiences, talents, interests, values, and opinions make you unique—and there is a company that wants to pay for your brand of genius.

Last year, I created my first freelancing profile on Upwork to explore writing professionally.

I pitched oodles of projects, got told my rate was too high and felt a bit hopeless about my freelancing journey. Then, I received a message.

A tech startup found me, thought my bio was snappy and asked me to write copy for their landing page — even though my rate was higher than they wanted to pay.

Landing my first paying project made me feel validated as a writer.

The excitement over my first project was overwhelming. I immediately dove in, wrote magnificent landing page copy, and over-delivered. The client happily paid my rate of $100/hour.

They left me a glittering review:

"We love the story she told about our brand, and it was nice to hear my voice infused in the words she wrote. I consider myself a tough critic, especially when it comes to copywriting, but my expectations were surpassed and my wildest dreams were nearly realized. Yes, she's really THAT good."

They asked me to do another project for them.

The thrill of the first project thrummed through my veins, and they were so happy with my work, so I accepted their second offer to write Facebook ad copy.

While they liked the ad copy I gave them, it wasn't as enjoyable of an experience for me. I learned that I am better with long-form copy and storytelling.

Here's my advice to aspiring freelancers:

• Put yourself out there

• Someone will pay the rate you're asking, don't compromise for cheap offers

• Try new things to see what you like

• Evaluate lessons learned and pivot accordingly

As a small fitness business owner, the biggest marketing mistake I've made is not consistently posting on social media.

I am a fitness and nutrition expert, a writer, and a social media user. So, what gives? My husband and I are either working at our gym or wrangling our kids — there is no in-between.

Entrepreneurs have little time to work on the business when they spend all their time working in the business — especially if they're juggling family obligations, too.

It is a mistake to avoid social media as a marketing tool, especially because it's free.

I know; posting selfies on the gram seems kind of lame. Humble entrepreneurs do not love self-promotion because it feels sleazy. Like, look at me!

But, we are in the age of the creator. When I hear about a brand or business, I immediately look up their social media to see if I vibe with them. I've discovered exciting creators by scrolling through Tik Tok or Twitter and have purchased products from them because I liked their brand.

Writing Instagram captions, Tik Tok scripts, or blog posts for your website can be overwhelming.

Here are some options to enhance your business's social media presence:

#1. Hire a freelance writer

A freelance writer can take your messy brain dump and turn it into magic for you to post online so potential clients can fall in love with your brand.

If the idea of posting on social media freaks you out, hire a freelance social media manager.

#2. Approach social media as if it's a revenue source

You may not be getting paid for posting on social media, but treat the task of writing and posting on social as if you are. You'll be more motivated to get it done.

Block out an hour a week to jot down some benefits of your product or service, upcoming events, relevant stories, testimonials, or news. Flesh them out.

Your presence is more important than perfection.

You're ready to write a scene; you know what needs to happen, but — no words are coming to mind. Crickets. Nobody's home.

This is the perfect opportunity for imposter syndrome to kick your ass and remind you that you suck. Don't listen to that bully. If you do, you'll:

❌ Write 0 words

❌ Feel like shit

❌ Procrastinate

❌ Never finish your draft

Writer's block riddled me for days.

I avoided writing the chapter. I wasted my precious writing time battling the word munching demon that lives inside my head.

And then, I throat punched him and wrote some words. But, they weren't any good, and I almost gave up on the chapter. Did I really need this part of the story anyway?

Before I threw in the towel, the muse whispered in my ear and asked:

What if you write this scene from a different point of view?

💡 Lightbulb!

Something clicked. The scene fell into place when I changed the point of view, writing this scene in another character's voice. I was able to reveal more about the characters, the setting, and the story by planting myself in someone else's head.

Consider who has the most to lose or room to grow in a particular scene. They are the best candidate for that scene's point of view.

Off-roading can open the door to something new and wonderful.

You won't lose anything by experimenting. If the scene doesn't make the cut, it's still a great exercise in honing your story. And, you'll feel proud that you wrote something today.

Outlining is critically thinking about your characters, the story, and writing it all down. The character's personal growth along the way is what makes us care about your story.

The plot is a bunch of stuff that happens. Your character's deepest desires and their actions to get it should drive the plot.

Here's how to outline while maintaining focus on your character's inner journey:

But first, decide where your outline is going to live.

There are a million ways to outline. Choose a tool that works for you. Here are four ideas:

• Notebook

• Word or Pages

• Sticky notes on your bedroom wall

• Software, like Plottr or Scrivener

Now that you know where to outline, it's time to determine what happens:

Here's how:

Step 1: Jot the plot.

Write down everything you know will happen in your story in as much detail as possible. It's okay if you don't know everything yet.

Make sure that things happen because the characters decide to pursue what they want.

Step 2: How is your character growing?

In a column next to the plot, write down how your protagonist's inner struggle comes into play. Does this plot point move them forward or backward on their journey to overcoming their misbeliefs?

If you're coming up short, it's possible the plot point doesn't fit the character's journey. Dive deeper into your character's desires and misbeliefs about the world or themself.

Step 3: Repeat for other characters.

Add a column for each character. Give them a chance to grow or backslide. It'll make your story and world more captivating for human brains.

You want to write a story, but you haven't begun. I hate to break it to you; That book will not write itself.

Here are three reasons you haven't put fingers to keys to bring your story to life — and how to get started:

You have no time:

Life is busy. You tell yourself you'll write when things slow down or when the kids are older.

Here's a reality check: Life will always be busy. The type of busyness may change, but you won't find yourself with endless free time — and if you do, it won't be the catalyst to set off your writing career.

Creativity thrives within constraints. You have to make time for what you value, like following your writing dream. Start with fifteen minutes.

You don't know what to write: 

The urge to write a story lives in your bones, but you have no idea what that story is yet.

Solving this problem is simple: Write something. Begin by writing down ideas, character traits, compelling themes, plot concepts, and genres that interest you.

Words breed and spawn ideas. Start dreaming, thinking, and writing them down.

You don't feel qualified:

There is no M.F.A. following your name. You never learned fancy-pants literary word-weaving. That's okay.

You don't need qualifications to become a writer. You need to write and begin learning the craft. Read writing craft books to learn techniques, study your favorite novels, and join a writer's group. Be curious and keep learning.

Unleash your story.

Writing is only terrifying when you're not doing it.

Becoming a mom thrusts everything beyond survival out the window, including beauty routines and, sadly, personal hygiene.

If you're cringing, you clearly haven't spawned children. It's wild.

Moms tend to put everyone and everything ahead of themselves. It's instinct. Nurture the child, clean the house to prevent death by lego foot injuries, feed the family.

Here are things I haven't thought much about in five years of mothering:

• Makeup

• Hairstyles

• Fashion

I didn't believe my image was important anymore, but I was wrong.

Vanity does not contribute to basic survival, but it becomes empowering when you crawl out of the baby cave.

You'll crumble if you give every piece of yourself away without giving yourself attention, too. A swipe of concealer, a fresh haircut, and a pair of real pants (not leggings) that fit your body can magically transform you into a different person. Someone who is more than "just a mom".

Acting on my desire to feel beautiful enhances my creativity.

Beauty is an art form. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to personal style. You can show the world who you are without saying a word. That's powerful.

Consider who you are internally and how you want the world to see you, and decorate your canvas accordingly.

Loving yourself and embracing creativity is not selfish.

Get that haircut. Wear what makes you feel good. Outwardly be yourself.

It makes you a better parent when you fill the void. Investing in your image increases self-esteem. Your kids will respect that because it benefits them to have a happier mother.

Watering someone else's plant so you can watch it grow is creative karma in the bank — and an investment in your writing.

Every two weeks, my writer's group exchanges pages by email. We read, edit, and return our comments to the writer before our meeting. I end up cramming edits for five writers into my free time over a day or two.

It's a lot of work, but here's why it's 100% worth it:

Punctilious reading makes you a better writer:

When you examine a piece of writing, you'll witness techniques that you love — or don't love — that will expand your idea of what's possible.

Writing is individual. No two people string words together in the same way. Writers imprint vibes into their work. You won't experience any of these marvels by writing in a cave.

Editing outside your genre broadens your toolkit: 

If you stick to your comfort zone, you're missing an opportunity to experience the delights other genres have to offer.

Boring! That's like only eating potatoes your whole life when there is guacamole out there.

While there are traditional story structures for genres, they are not law. This is where creativity rules. You can blend genres techniques to deepen your story and create something unique.

Proofreading is a learned skill: 

Proofreading isn't about talent; you can learn if you practice.

Spelling, grammar, and punctuation are writing rules we follow to better understand each other as humans. It's beautiful when you think about it. Learning to identify opportunities for clearer communication is a gift to your writing.

A mind-blowing plot invaded your brain, and you're ready to write, but who's the star of the show?

Your characters are the hook that will keep readers reading.

You want to lure readers in and leave them thinking about your characters long after the story ends. This is torture; Sweet, sweet torture.

Give your character these three qualities to captivate readers:

• Internal motivation

• An obstacle

• Redeemable qualities

Here's the tea:

What does your character desire more than anything?

Your character's internal motivation drives the entire plot.

If your character wants to find love, everything they do is an effort to get them closer to achieving that goal. When you don't know what happens next, think about what lengths your character go to on their quest to find princess charming.

What does your character have to overcome to get what they want?

Something must stand in their way, or there is no story.

The obstacle can be tangible. The evil stepfather prevents your protagonist from attending the ball to meet princess charming. Or it can be invisible. A misbelief about one's self stops most people from following their dreams. Perhaps your character thinks they're unworthy of love. They'll have to overcome that get what they desire.

Why should we like your character?

Your characters can be badass, evil, snarky, or covered in reptilian scales, and we will still love them if you give them a redeemable quality.

Make other characters care about them. Give them an aspirational quality, like being heroic, kind, or brave. Give readers a reason to root for them — and they will.

Before I had kids, I read 70 books a year — including books on writing. At my corporate job, I'd Google the day away, trying to decode the mystery of how to become a writer.

It took 16 years, two kids, and a global pandemic to decide to pursue my dream of writing a novel.

But, if I wanted to do it, I would need some help.

Get a babysitter:

I snagged a sitter for a few hours in the summer of 2020. She entertained my kids while I locked myself in my bedroom and began to write.

This was a temporary situation, so I didn't make it far into my journey before falling off the wagon. But I'd written the foundation for a unique novel.

Create a writing habit: 

Fast-forward to February 2021; I discovered audiobooks — which changed my life as a busy mom.

Listening to Atomic Habits while washing dishes and folding tiny laundry inspired me to start a daily writing habit. After my kids went to sleep, I wrote for an hour every night before watching TV.

Join a writer's group: 

I started two novels and one children's story without finishing anything. I needed structure.

I posted on my local mom's Facebook group to see if anyone wanted to be my writing partner. There was so much interest that I founded a group of fiction writers. We meet every two weeks, offering feedback and support to each other.

If you feel the urge in your bones to write — then write.

Eliminate your obstacles and fulfill your heart's desire.

You poured your soul into a piece of writing and drummed up the courage to share it because you want feedback. What you really want to know is, is it any good?

But that's not the feedback you need.

I'm lucky to have an experienced and well-published author in my writer's group. Her critiques have taught me to turn criticism into a creative opportunity to write a better story.

Here are some things to keep in mind when receiving feedback:

Don't take critiques personally.

The notes are about the words on the page and the story in question, not your worth as a person. Separate your personal value from your work, and don't take offense. Your reader is trying to help you.

Listen with an open mind.

Opinions are opportunities to make a story better. Your reader will point out unlikeable characters, confusing plot points, and elements they love. Don't shoot anything down. Just listen.

Take time to consider the feedback.

The story is yours. Think about the reader's suggestions. Would making those changes improve your story? Don't edit impulsively. Make sure you're in a constructive frame of mind when you face your revisions.

Make a revision task list.

Review your notes. Accept the critiques that resonate with you and add an action item to your revision task list. Write down the specific way your plan to tackle the reader's feedback to improve your story.

Go through your task list one point at a time, think deeply, and revise accordingly. Now you've taken criticism and turned it into creativity.

I wrote 50,000 words of fiction by the seat of my pants, and now I'm rewriting the whole damn thing. If only I had written an outline.

Stephen King wormed his way into my head and convinced me that the story must unravel itself. The magic is in the mystery, and the characters will tell you where they want to go.

There is value in letting your mind wander while you write, but it might kick you in the ass later when you need the story to make sense.

Plotting is scary.

The pressure to know everything about your story is intense. You must consider character, plot, theme, and the I-didn't-see-that-coming ending.

If my characters tell me who they are and what they're going to do, it's their fault if the story sucks — not mine. Right?

Wrong. It's my job as the writer to write a good story.

How does a writer get over outlining fear when "pantsing" doesn't cut it?

Permit yourself to think.

Plotting, outlining, blueprinting — or whatever you want to call it — is just thinking.

Forgive yourself for not writing chapters yet. Praise yourself for making a plan on how you're going to write an enthralling story.

Write down your thoughts.

You've considered your character's deepest desires and come up with an undeniably good plot. You can picture what the world looks like.

Write it all down.

Organize your ideas.

An outline is just organized thoughts. When you collect your ideas before writing, you'll be able to produce more quality words in less time.

Trends don't tempt me, but the fanfare around the 50 Shades trilogy piqued my curiosity and lured me in. I almost quit reading the first book because the writing was cringeworthy. But, I begrudgingly stayed to finish the story and learned a valuable lesson.

Writing doesn't have to be good if the story is. Stories captivate, and stories sell.

The 50 Shades series was unbelievably successful. Here are some figures to illustrate how the enthralling story performed:

• 50 Shades of Grey was one of the top ten bestselling books of the decade

• The book grossed over $440M

• The trilogy sold over 150M copies

• The film adaptations of the story raked in over $1.32B

• It made E.L. James filthy rich — her net worth is around $170M today.

If you have an idea, you can write a story, too.

Watching Twilight inspired E.L. James to write novels. She wasn't a trained or experienced writer, but she had a wicked idea for a good story.

An idea for a story won't get you very far if you don't write any words. E.L started by writing and anonymously publishing erotic stories online. Now she's an industry mogul and a professional writer.

Don't let a lack of skill or experience stop you from writing.

No shade to James (or pun intended), but her stories crushed it without using literary language. Repeating adjectives nearly bludgeon you to death.

Get your story on paper and craft compelling characters. If you give readers a reason to care, you too can publish a story — and make some cash.

You're well into writing your story idea, and you know the beats you need to hit to make it work. Then, you get caught in the writer's bog of doom on your way between beats.

By nature, bogs are swampy, emitting queefy sounds as you slog through them. If you stop moving, you'll get sucked in and become a cranky swap monster with an unfinished draft.

So, how do you get through the sludge?

You write the shitty shit.

The only way to write your way out of the bog is to write something bad — Something shitty.

"He got out of the car and then closed the door and saw a bird."

Not great, but we're getting somewhere. We're writing.

The fruit hides beneath a putrid layer of shit.

"When he looked across the park, he saw an assassin murder a sweet old granny in broad daylight. Her wig fell off as she hit the ground, and he realized she's wasn't a granny at all. The target was the burglar he saw on the news, who hijacked a bus full of children as his getaway ride. He noticed the assassin wore custom Chuck Taylors, the exact shoes his wife laced up for her morning run."

We wouldn't have made it through the bog without writing some cringe-worthy words.

Worry about polishing the turds later.

Writing is thinking, idea vomiting, and traversing the bog to get the story down. You can survey the carnage later, edit the words and put a bow on your boggy beast.

In a world that’s never quiet, time devoted to thought is rare.

Rare usually means valuable. That's capitalism, for you. When this concept is applied to thinking, it fails to fund because you can't sell your thoughts until you transform them into something tangible. It's a conundrum, though — You need thinking time to solve problems and generate ideas that will become the fruit of your creativity.

As a creative and a parent, I struggle with the lack of quiet space to listen to my intuition and blossoming ideas. I feel calmer and creatively inspired when I sneak in a meditative moment.

Thinking is productive, even though we’ve been brainwashed to believe it’s not.

I’m writing a sci-fi/fantasy novel set in our world and the spirit realm. My challenge is to invent a whole new world, imagine every little detail, and explain how it works. This requires thinking time.

Since I’m so busy, I tend to dive directly into writing which makes me feel more productive, but there’s no way around the thinking. I’m in a place in the process right now where I have to slow down, think, and wonder. But it makes me want to thrash and scream and fight because it feels counterproductive.

Thinking is undervalued — and it's bankrupting dreams.

Thoughts lead to entertainment, ingenuity, and even profit. Quiet thinking time makes happier people. Let's normalize thinking time, especially for creative caregivers with dreams.

I can't write my way out of this story hurdle; I have to think my way out.

The scariest part of writing a novel is not knowing what comes next.

You wrote a scene. Now the brazen cursor flashes in your face, asking what's next. Your amygdala hoses down your insides with fear. You're suddenly fresh out of words and ideas. You don't know what happens next. The horror.

Here's how to overcome the fear of what's next and write on:

Cue critical thinking.

Prepare your page by asking yourself the following:

• What does your protagonist desire most?

• What would this character logically do or say next?

• What are the rewards or consequences of this action?

• What are the other characters in this scene doing?

• And so, what happens next?

Your character's internal motivation and external goals will lead you to the successive story beats.

Break out the beats.

Write a messy summary answering the questions above.

Example:

Your character agrees to go on a romantic trip. She wants to woo her spouse, so she packs sexy lingerie. Her spouse is packing, too — a gun. Your protagonist succeeds in her seduction but finds the gun under the pillow. She discovers that her spouse is an assassin.

There's a lot to go on there. Write down the specific things you want to happen without worrying about making it good yet.

Put meat on the bones.

Put space between the beats and flesh them out one at a time. Use sensory detail to describe the scene and show us the stakes.

Writing is not scary when you know what happens next.

In 2011, I tried out for a roller derby league — and I made it. Pretty ironic for the girl who fractured her arm roller skating in second grade.

My friends dragged me to a roller derby bout. We watched bedazzled women skate in circles, knocking their opponents down. A skater handed me a flyer for tryouts, and I knew I had to do it.

I went to the skate shop and bought the gear. Without any skating skills, I showed up ready to learn. Dozens of women were present cloaked in attitude, booty shorts, and bold makeup. Adrenaline pumped, and I felt alive.

Playing roller derby taught me more than expected; here's what:

Taking risks changes how you feel about yourself.

Donning my helmet and skates made me feel confident, empowered, and badass. The euphoria of my bolstered self-esteem drove me to attend every practice.

I learned that dedication and tenacity pay off. And that it's always worthwhile to invest in yourself.

Adults can be athletic, too — even if you've never played sports.

High school cheerleading was the extent of my athletic career until I was 23, when I made the league. I realized I was athletic.

Roller derby led to a fitness career and gave me the lasting confidence to take up ice hockey without any experience a decade later.

Women are not delicate.

We are fierce friends and competitors. We are savage in our pursuits and stronger than society gives us credit for.

Playing sports changed my belief in what I can accomplish — Anything.